Living on the smell of an oily rag

Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend a womens conference and stumbled into a session called 'living on the smell of an oily rag'. This saying based on an analogy of a car which keeps going with an empty tank and living off the fumes of an oily rag.... is usually used to describe situations where a person has made do with hardly anything and/or very little.

I was amazed that these women had some really great ideas that I have been looking for...

1) The candle
I learnt that if you light a candle and hold it up to any window in your house and if the flame flickers then it is an indicator that there is a draft coming from somewhere and you can then concentrate on blocking that draft. That tip grew into putting the candle in the fridge (or a torch) and shut the door. If you can see light coming from the fridge then your seals need replacing of fixing.

2) Shampoo & Conditioner
My sons have no hair yet they will use my good shampoo and conditioner regularly, and it is guaranteed that when I need it - there is none! NONE!!! So I listened attentively when one of the women gathered complained about her shampoo and conditioner having to be replaced every two weeks or so. So she got empty water bottles (Pump or H2Go) and filled them up with her hair products and she reckons this slows down the flow and lasts longer. So I am going to give that a go - now I just need to get my teenagers out of the showers after 2 mins!

3) Cleaning products
Have you ever heard of using baking soda and vinegar being used as cleaning products. One of the ladies gathered used to be a regular buyer of spray and wipe - going through it regularly (note to self: this lady must have a spotless house, followed by the thought - wow!! who cleans that much ;-)) and then by changing to baking soda and vinegar has not bought cleaning products in six months. Apparently, as I have not tried it yet - if you put baking soda on the surface you want to clean, then follow that up with vinegar, it creates a lather and then is ready to wipe.... Actually I once saw Martha Stewart use ketchup to clean the surface of a burnt pot bottom - ketchup! So great tips for cleaning and saving money this way - but this is food we eat so if it can clean surfaces - what is it doing inside our tummies, but that's a whole other story ;-)

2) Toilet Roll
A household of boys should not go through as much toilet paper as a house full of girls - so I have been scratching my head why or rather who has been responsible for the amount of rolls being used in ours. We narrowed it down to one particular son who takes a great deal of care - you know when. Fed up with this at our weekly family meeting - I brought a roll into our agenda and demonstrated how much was an ample amount of paper to complete business ;-). It was great to see that one roll lasted longer than normal - however, we returned to the one roll every four or five days! So when one of the ladies talked about toilet rolls - I could not believe my ears. She does this for her mokopuna which I could use on my teenagers. She gets the toilet roll and squashes it down so that the inner roll has a kink in it that requires the child to physically roll it around for more instead of it rolling freely.... I'll let you know how I go.

5) Do it yourself
Thinking about this conference reminded me of a cousin of mine who creates things herself and by doing so not only saves money, but things are more meaningful and I for one am so inspired. She is the daughter of a talented seamstress and clever Nan - I would like to think my side of the family contributed something as well, but I don't think so!! ;-) Anyway, an example of this is this coat she created (first attempt of sewing a coat) from a woollen blanket she bought from an opshop for $1! I thought it was great and only one of the many things she makes. I have been so inspired, that I have informed my husband that I want a sewing machine as well..... and lets just say - this news has kept him giggling for days!

So you see - there are always things we can do to help us save a little here and a little there from filling the freezer with scrunched up newspaper to try and trick it into thinking it is full, or like one lady suggested, fill half of it with water and letting that freeze and putting things on top of that to achieve the same thing.
Happy saving.


Yours in friendship,


Mxox

Lightning Strike!

Sometimes lessons come along and gently nudge you or tap you on the shoulder to remind you of things that you need to change or improve. Today I didn't get one of those - I got one of those other types - the ones that hit you over the head or like a great big lightning strike ripping through the clouds and striking you  in the "you should have known better" region ;-)

This lightning strike came to me today when I was one of 250 people who were asked to go home and get our 72 hour survival kit. We had half an hour to get ready. It was to test our preparedness for a disaster. Although uncomfortable and unwanted - it was a timely reminder that at any time we could find ourselves like the people of Christchurch who have survived a 6.1 earthquake and hundreds of after shocks, or the people who are cut off due to the flooding just up the road on State Highway 1. We just never know?

When the instructions were given I conducted a quick internal inventory on what my children and I had in terms of being ready.... and then the lightning hit - I need to get my butt into gear!

1) Something to cook with
A few years ago my sons had a camp which required them to take everything they needed in their backpack, including three days of meals, blankets, clothes and shelter. It was a great chance for us to get them real camping backpacks and cooking utensils with little gas stoves that they could cook with and on. We practiced at home how to cook and how to use the little gadgets and they didn't go hungry while they were away. Great right? Wrong - today I say to their father - where are the boys cooking stoves? Answer: Under the house somewhere! Lesson one - get the cooking things out from under the house and into the 72 hour survival kit.

2) Water
When the boys turned up today with their 72 hour kits, of the 200 people gathered, they were the only ones with enough water for 3 days. Yay!! for us. I know I could never imagine it - but we can survive without food but we will not live long without water. In Christchurch many people are still being required to boil their water - two weeks after the eathquake hit - so that's a lot of water ;-). Lesson two - stop teasing husband for filling every empty bottle with water and storing it all over the house!

3) Light
Just as the boys were leaving I remembered light. We ave lots of torches - but they are scattered throughout the house and some of them don't have batteries that would last past a couple of hours let alone 72. I could of at least have got some candles and matches!! The BIG lesson for me: purchase torches for every member of the family and include batteries.

4) First Aid Kit
We need a first aid kit. We have the basics that will cover a grazed knee, or treat a headache but nothing that would take care of a burn or a large wound. So far, in a tupperware (I love tupperware!!) container we all have plasters, panadol, voltaren (I know - you never know? ;-)), cotton buds, bandaging, ventolin and other basics - but in reality these things won't be enough. Note to self: Get a first aid kit.

5) Plan
For about ten minutes after our instructions were given - the boys had run off somewhere. Although I was fairly confident I knew where they were on this occasion, my greatest fear is that something will happen and I am not with them. I need to organise my family so that we have a plan and we are prepared and if we are either at work or school - we will all make our way to our designated spot.

I know that if we are prepared there is no need to be worried or frightened..... but the key is to be prepared otherwise that lightning strike that reminds us of what we need to be doing might not be enough and worse hit use too late - and turns into something we will be stuck with forever - regret!.

If this is news to you, at the back of the yellow pages and http://www.getthru.govt.nz/ the NZ government has suggested as Emergency Survival Items:
* Water (3 litres per person, per day for up to 3 days or more)
* Cnned, non-perishable food
* Torch and Radio (with batteries)
* Toilet paper, plastic bag, and bucket
* First Aid Kit and essntial medicings, including paracetamol for fever,
* BBQ or other means of cooking
* Face and dus masks

Happy gathering.

Yours in friendship,

Mxox

Time after Time

Thinking of lessons that I have learnt is proving to be more difficult than I thought until I thought about something that I am running out of - time. Is it just me or are the days passing by faster than ever? How can I reclaim time?

1) Create memories
I am a big fan of creating memories. When my children were smaller, I spent a lot of time doing things with them that would create memories. The only trouble is that my sons have no recall of all that trouble ;-) For example asking them what their favourite childhood memory is - resulted in blank stares.....I mean these children have travelled overseas since they were three years old ;-) The flip side to this is that when my time is stretched as thin as it is now - my son's recall of events have become amazingly crystal clear... like Mum you still owe me $40 from last week (and they have heaps of those memories!) All I need to do is to make memories for my sons now...

2) Capture the moment

The best item that I have ever bought is a digital camera. When I remember I take that little item with me and snap away. I am not going to win any photography awards but what I capture lasts much longer. Photos are one of the reasons why I joined facebook so that I could actually see people that I haven't seen for so long... In this photo here, which incidentally I got off facebook, are members of my whanau - my beautiful mother (sitting in the front with my sister), her parents, two sisters two brothers, one sister-in-law and one brother-in-law, my brother, and two of my cousins. The special thing about this photo is of the fourteen people captured in this picture - only six of us are left. I miss every person in this photo that is no longer here and looking at this picture reminds me of what it will be like to see them again. I can't wait!!

3) Slow down...
I think I am finally getting to an age where I am not in rush all the time. The urgency of matters is still critical and lets face it the older you get the more matters there are..... but I'm not in a rush. Something has happened inside me when I turned 40 that actually made me change the way I see things and take things slower....probably why I am always late ;-(

4) Major on the Majors, Minor on the Minors
I learnt this new phrase - major on the majors and minor and on the minors. It means to concentrate on the big things and let the little ones go. This is not as easy as it sounds but in order to make up time, it comes in handy. The time and energy put into chasing something is draining, so if you are following up something - make it count. My brother has had some personal information shared with friends overseas which has come back to him. He was upset about who told who and so on. I asked him - Was the information true? Yes. Well then, there isn't a problem... I figure my brother has two choices 1)He could go out and try and get some redress for this slip by one of his truest friends or 2) Let it go. For me it was simple - the information would get out to your friends anyway - and at least it was shared by someone you trusted so that it was factual... hurtful, but still the truth.

5) Spend it
I was travelling home from somewhere and I had an ephinany: I need to spend time to make time. I don't spend enough time with my sons and I need to do this. I keep thinking about the saying that you don't think about your work in your last hours - its your family that are going to occupy those moments. I now have to re-create that in my every day. So wish me luck as I do something that I should have been doing all this time....

An ode to Time
Time is free, but it's priceless.
You can't own it, but you can use it.
You can't keep it, but you can spend it.
Once you've lost it you can never get it back.”

Have a great week everyone. May you use the next seven days well..

Yours in friendship,


Mxox

Fathers teaching Fatherhood

Today I held a newborn baby in my arms for the first time in a very very long time. I looked down at this tiny little creature and tried to rack my brains for memories of holding mine and came up blank - that's how long its been... Instead I thought to myself - how did I do it? How did I get through those long nights and days without a clue? ... and then thankfully I handed baby back to his beautiful grandmother ;-)

The baby I was holding had his naming blessing today. Baby's father called on all the blessings a child would ever need to grow up strong and healthy. What impressed me was his request for his son to remain close to his mother! What a clever young (first-time) father he was... I am sure he learnt that from his own father who is a great example to me of a man who loves his wife and children....

Here is what I have learnt about fatherhood from five fathers...

1) From my Father in Heaven - Love abounding
I have learnt from my father in heaven that I am loved and that the love in which I receive is limitless, unconditional and abounding. I have read accounts of people who have have died and somehow returned (something called near death experiences) and the common thread amongst these strangers was the feeling of love they felt when they had moved into the next life. It was described in such a way that I know that it exists. What we feel towards each other is only a portion to what is to come and I for one am excited ;-)

2) From my father - The love of Music & Comedy
 My mother liked music but never played an instrument and although would sing aloud - was honest about her singing abilities (something shared with my brother and sister ;-)). Despite that, it was my mother who motivated me (seen as punishment as a young person) to get through my pianoforte exams and I will always  be grateful to her for that. However, my love for music definitely comes from my father. He cannot read music but can play any song note for note on the guitar. My favourites of his are Breezin by George Benson and Hotel California by the Eagles. I can even watch hours and hours of Michael Jackson with him without explanation - now that's love ;-) As for comedy - like I said last week - I have NEVER met a Samoan who was not funny ;-)This is something shared with my brother and sister....

3) From my brother - Fatherhood is playing.
My brother became a father at a very young age. I have watched him grow with his children (four daughters; one son) and although he is getting older - he is still young in heart and as such plays with his children. From him I have learnt that being a good father is playing with your children. He takes his children camping, hiking, swimming (in open sea), pig hunting, diving (for sea food), jumping off bridges (Raglan Walkbridge) and so on. He is lucky because besides his mother and at least one sister - his biggest fan has been his beautiful wife ;-) who allows him to do this...

4) From my father-in-law - Silence is Golden
Like my husband, my father-in-law is not a talker.... In fact none of the boys in the family are, and there are five of them. But you see - just because he doesn't talk much - doesn't mean that he doesn't teach. His example is louder than anything he could say. My husband learnt many things from his father by watching and following him. My father-in-law is a worker, a real plodder, and the go-to guy when you needed some kind of support with anything. He is innovative and a man who works with his hands - some things my husband is still learning ;-) and hopefully will catch up. I love my father-in-law.

5) From my husband - Being constant
My children are blessed to have a father who is constant. His values and priorities remain unwavering. His counsel to them will always be straight and laced with love. He is my partner in parenthood and I wouldn't or couldn't have asked for more.

So from the fathers in my life - thank you for teaching me every day.

Happy Father's Day.

Mxox