1) Whakarongo
This week I was privileged to be a part of a leadership conference and the word whakarongo came up. It was mentioned not only as a leadership skill but a way of learning from others. The presenter shared his experience about learning to speak te reo Maori. Many years ago, when he wanted to learn how to speak Maori he was invited to learn with a Kaumatua who offered to teach him. He spent three weeks with him and was instructured throughout that time to "whakarongo" and not speak. The minutes ran into hours, hours into days, and after three weeks he left that wananga fluent in Te Reo Maori just by listening - amazing! He was able to absorb more as he trained himself to hear and learn what was being taught. Just imagine what we could accomplish if we all engaged in whakarongo.
About five years ago, I was teaching communication on a management programme when I came across this chinese character for "to listen". There are four elements to listening in this character 1) you 2) eyes 3) undivided attention and 4) the heart which really illustrates how we need to listen. I used this at a management training a couple of years ago to try and coach my team into the art of active listening and taking interest in what is being said without saying anything but listening. I would love to tell you it was successful - but that's another topic altogether ;-) Giving someone your undivided attention needs to be genuine and opening your heart to what is being said all makes for better listening. Next time someone is talking to you - see how many of the four elements you did....
4) Learning
This week I was part of an interview panel. As part of this interview the applicants had to do a verbal presentation. One of the applicants showed a slide that read "If all I do is hear, I will forget. If I hear and see, I will remember. If I hear, see and do, I will understand" I thought this was a brilliant statement because listening is critical to understanding each other, a subject, a feeling, family, friends etc. What we learn from this statement is that to truly understand something you need to hear it via listening, see it and then do it which make listening very much an active exercise.
3) Wairua
At a leadership conference I was at lately - our facilitator was talking to us about traditional Maori leadership models and the strengths and skills that we could take from their journeys to provide us with a pathway to becoming effective Maori leaders........ and one of the things he talked about was the "wairua" or translated to be - spirit. He taught in conjunction with karakia (prayer) to Te Io Matua (Heavenly Father) - that the wairua was the vehicle in which our people traversed mountainous seas and oceans and landed here in Aotearoa. I believe this principle and try it in my own life and know that wairua is real. One of my favourite scriptures tells us about the prophet Elijah who went to talk to the Lord and "the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice" (1Kings 19:11-12). That still small voice is the spirit and we need to be listening now.
5) Peace
The facilitator of my leadership conference works with hardened criminals (great preparation for our group ;-)) in Aotearoa's roughest prisons. He tells of one experience when he was called to a prison as they needed his help with some issues. When he got there and after he was already in he was told that there had been a six day war inside between two rival gangs. There were deaths, stabbings, fights and the tension was unbelievable. Our facilitator tells the story of going into lock down with the prisoners (how he runs his wananga) and the wairua told him to go outside and play touch. So he asked the guards to let them out. The only space there was a plot of shingle which was called the 'shingle pit'. He told the prisoners that they would play them at touch. Of course it was not a real game of touch, but this man and his colleagues held their ground and continued to play. As the game went on, the prisoners played and played, and one by one they dropped out, and still the facilitator continued with his colleagues continued to play until they were the last men standing. After that they all returned back into the cells and that was the session completed. When he was asked what had he done, as the attitudes of the men had changed significantly - he simply replied "we played touch". What I believe happened is that the wairua told him that there was another way to get through to these men - and he did what I need to do more - he listened.
Have a great week.
Yours in friendship,
Mxox
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