Time Out For Women

I was part of almost 1500 LDS women who met at the Aotea Centre in Auckland on Saturday, 30th July from 9am - 4pm. I hadn't originally intended to go but count my lucky stars that I did.

The theme for the day was to "Choose to Become", ultimately taken from Mark 9:23 where is says "all things are possible to Him that believeth"

I can not put into words how much I enjoyed the day or mesaure the impact of what I heard, as my 'becoming' has not yet been realised - but I can report that I am on my way.

The conference came at the end of some life-changing decisions that I

have made and the timing can only be described as a 'divine intervention'. It was one day - but the lessons I learnt will last forever.

LESSON ONE - I am worth it.

The first speaker's name was Laurel Christensen who has is my new most favourite person. She spoke of some trials and challenges that she has overcome and some goals that she set and achieved which on their own would have been inspiring, however what she taught me is that I am worth it. I am good enough to ask Heavenly Father in faith for the things that I need and want. So often we ask for things or desire things for everyone else but ourselves - but Laurel reminded me that I need to ask for things for myself and to take care of me.

LESSON TWO - Don't be the one person standing in your way

One of the best quotes for the day had to be "don't be the one person standing in your way" which was such great advice to myself. We often put barriers in our own way, by either thinking we can't do something, or being scared to try something new .... The life changes I have made , have opened up the doors for me to take charge of my life, and I am scared about what the future holds, but I am going to be okay because I am determined NOT to be the person standing in my own way to "becoming" anything I want to be.

LESSON THREE - Back to the Basics

The next speaker was Virginia Pearce who spoke about mothers. If you are a regular of mine - you know what I could have done while this topic was being taught - but I was okay. In fact, something that she said about doing the basics - like praying and reading our scriptures - reminded me about my mother as this was her favourite saying... and looks like she wasn't the only one who owned it ;-)

LESSON FOUR - Aligning our lives to Lord's vision of us

Virginia also taught that we should align our lives to the Lord's vision for ourselves. Since that day, I have thought about this often and after 40+ years it is something that I am prepared to do. Don't get me wrong - I have planned my life and asked for guidance before - its just that I have been more of an independant person. The difference this time is that I am going to pray over some options that I have sorted and am going to leave the direction that my life and the lives of my children will take, at the bottom of a prayer. I am unsure of what will happen, but I am ready - watch this space.

LESSON FIVE
"There were so many more lessons that I could have chosen but I have to end with quite possibly the most profound statements made that were so relevant to what I am going through - I actually felt that the speakers could have been sitting across from me in a one on one interview.... QUOTE ONE "if it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts. Certinaly don't give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. Cast not away therefore your confidence. Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you". Jeffrey R. Holland and from Eleanor Roosevelt  QUOTE TWO "you gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along'. You must do the thing you think you cannot do..."

So I came away with so much more than I had taken in and with my new sense of determination and motivation - I believe that I am at the start of a wonderful journey.

Yours in friendship,

Mxox

Stressed out?

One evening after being unsuccessful in stemming his bleeding nose, and after his mother's medical advice - my son jumped on the internet and found out for himself how to stop it from bleeding.... Somewhere in the world someone had the same problem and had found a way to solve the issue and helped my 15 year old on the other side of the world.... Ain't technology grand!?

Everyone is a little bit stressed and may even be heading towards burnout - but what does that really mean? So I followed my son's lead and thought I would give Mr Google a go and looked up stress and burnout and discovered a goldmine of information on a website called http://www.helpguide.com/

This is that I learnt about stress and burnout.

1) Differences
Burnout my be the result of unrelenting stress, but it isn't the same as too much stress. Stress, by and large, involes too much: too may pressure that demands too much of you physically and psychologically. Stressed people can still imagine, though, that if they can just get everything under contol, they'll feel better. Burnout, on the other hand, is about not enough. Being burned out means feeling empty, devoid of motivation, and beyond caring. People who experience burnout often don't see any hope of positive change in their situations. If excessive stress is like drowing in responsibiities, burnout is being all dried up.One other difference between stress and burnout: while your'e usually aware of being under a lot of stress, you don't always notice burnout when it happens.

2) How do you know?
According to http://www.helpguide.org/ you know when you are dealing with burnout by applying the three R's. Recognise, Reverse and Resilience. Recognise the warning signs of burnout, reverse the damage done by managing stree and seeking support, and build up your resilience to stresse by taking care of your physical and emotional health.

3) Warning signs
Physical signs and symptoms are feeling tired and drained most of the time and change in appetite or sleep habits. Emotional signs were a sense of failure and self-doubt, loss of motivation, and decreased sense of satisfacion and sense of accomplishment. Finally, the behavioural signs and symptoms are withdrawing from responsibiities, proscratstinating, or taking longer to get things done or skipping work or coming and late and leaving early.

4) Preventing burnout
If you are in this position - some simple tips found on http://www.helpguide.org/ include a) starting the day with a relaxing ritual, b) adopting health eating, exercising, and sleeping habits, c) setting boundaries, d)taking a daily break from technology, e) nourishing your creative side and f) learning how to manage stress. My favourie was setting boundaries which had something simple as learning to say "no" to requests for your time. If you find this diffidult (which mother/woman doesn't), remind yourself that saying "no" allows yoiu to say "yes" to the things that you truly want to do...

5) Recovery
Like all things - thankfully stress and burnout have an end. Recovering from it can include three things; 1) Slow down - force yourself to slow down or take a break. Cut back whatever committments and activities you can. Give yourself time to rest, reflect, and heal. 2) Get support - turn to your loved ones for support, and 3) Re-eavaluate your goals and priorities - take time to think about hopes, goals and dreasm. This can be an opportunity to rediscover what really makes you happy and to change your course accordingly.

If you are in this place where anything that I have found on this website applies - make some changes. If I can - anyone can ;-)

Yours in friendship

Mxox

Lessons from a Manicure

It never ceases to amaze me where I get lessons in life - but I take them as they come... and this week has been no different and come via my beautifully manicured nails - albiet false, nails ;-)

1) Be careful for what you ask for

I have a neighbour that I have lived next door to for almost 30 years. She is stunning, has a beautiful figure, is always immaculately dressed, her make up is always nicely done and she wears georgeous jewellery. She works hard, is married and the mother of four children..... but regardless of ALL of that, the one thing that I have always admired of hers - were her nails. They have been manicured, long before there was a nail shop in every mall - and were done by a real beauticians - which was a long time ago ;-) I had often wondered what it would be like to have nails just like hers - and decided after some other friends had theirs done - that I was finally going to have a try. So I got my nails done. They are pink with a little diamante in the corner of each nail. Don't look too closely - otherwise you will see they need what is called "infilling" - someone else will have to explain what that is - as I have no idea and just know that it costs $5 per nail ;-). The one thing this had taught me is to be careful for what you ask for as you may just get it - and it's not quite what you wanted...

2) What looks good hung up doesn't always look good on

This is actually a shopping tip that I have picked up over the years - that just because it looks good on a mannequin or in a catalougue - it does not mean that it is going to look good off the hanger and on your person. Just because nails look beautiful in the magazines and my neighbour and even my friends - it does not mean they were going to look good on me....

3) False v Real

I have learnt from my experience that real is better than false. The professionals did such a great job in filing my false nails that I can't even cut through anything. In fact today, I dropped some paper on floor and I struggled to pick them up because my 'new' nails couldn't get under the paper to pick it up.... Yes they didn't cause any runs in my stockings but I would rather have a good scratch - than having beautifully filed and rounded finger nails... It's just not natural ;-)

4) Piano fingers
I was thinking the other day - why I had never got my nails done before or grown them too long - and then I remembered - I'm a piano player and the finger tips are very important in playing and with these nails - the 'clinking' noise is almost louder than the sound..... the cost of a memory lapse....

5) Never again
There are some things that you will only do once - and I think I have found mine. It took 40+ years to try it - and once was certainly enough for this classy chick ;-)
I am just grateful, the lessons from this experience were soft on me and didn't cause any heartache or sorrow... Hopefully the one thing that you will never do again is as kind to you as it has been to me.

Yours in friendship,

Mxox