What have you traded?

There is only one story that has been on my mind today and it is a story in the bible about twins -  Esau and Jacob.

Issac and Rebekah were married and it became apparent that Rebekah was unable to have children. Issac went to the Lord to ask for his wife to become pregnant and after his heartfelt pleas, Rebekah conceived. The pregnancy was difficult and it was Rebekah who then went to the Lord for counsel. A prophecy is given to her about her impending birth  and in Genesis Chapter 25 she is told that "Two nations are in they womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger"

The time came for the birth of her twins. Esau is born hours before his brother Jacob, and is  vividly described as being red and hairy - 'like a hairy garment' of which Jacob is not. Esau is a "cunning hunter" and is much loved by his father. Jacob in contrast is plain (which the footnote clarifies as being perfect, complete, whole, simple), dwells in his tents and is a pretty good cook. Jacob is favoured by his mother.

One day after a particular hard day in the "field" - Esau returns home hungry and thirsty. He asks his brother for some food because he is "faint". Jacob replies by saying to Esau - "Sell me this day thy birthright". Herein lies the first hold-the-bus moment for me. If I was Esau I would have asked "are you crazy?". You see the birthright was not just physical things like the land and possessions of his fathers which automatically goes to the the eldest child, but it also included the acknowledgement as the spiritual leader (and in all other ways) of the people.

Esau, says to his brother - in my words - Bro, I am about to die, what good will my birthright do for me? Jacob again says to his brother - "Swear to me this day" and herein lies the second hold-the-bus moment, Esau "sware unto him: and sold his brithright unto Jacob". Jacob gave Esau bread and a meal of which he drank and ate heartily. When he was finished he got up and left and it says "Esau despised his birthright".

By giving up his birthright, Jacob inherited the blessings of which Esau forfeited. Sure he was hungry and it does use the word famine for hungry - but really - something so insignificant for food? So I thought about this all day and pondered on the 'shortsightedness' of Esau. I ask myself, did he not know what he was giving up? How could he have been so ignorant? I know that he despised his birthright, and as the eldest child of my family - I understand the burden this can be - but was it so bad that he hated it sooo much he would trade it so easily?

My mind has been pondering on this as I liken it to myself and what my "pottage" may have been or could be that has cost me my "birthright" or values or things that really mean a lot to me. Within seconds my mind quickly turns to two of my own Esau moments where I have given up something of eternal significance for something with not so eternal consequences. There may be more...... many more....

The first concerns my role as a mother. For me being a mother has always been my number one priority - yet for years I let my life of other distractions take me away from this role. I traded in my blessing as a Mama, just as Esau did - not for food, but for a work that kept me away from my children and husband, and values once placed in my family being moved to being heavily invested (time, energy, focus) in money, a car, phone, laptop, travel and other 'bells and whistles'.

The second is in regards to my membership in my faith. Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints church is part of my spiritual DNA - yet for years, just as Esau did for food - I let me life take me in to places and soaked in my activities that left me little time to connect spiritually. I became isolated from my place of strength and identity, slowly but surely.....

Have you traded something in at the expense of something that is highly valued eternally and spiritually? Is it time to stop and pause and take a stocktake of where you are?

I am blessed that unlike Esau who had lost his birthright forever, there has been a way to reverse these things- but is taking time. I have worked hard in the past few months to connect with both my family and my faith and am some way to getting a refund for these compromises. It has left me happier, poorer in temporal things - but rich in happiness and contentment.

Esau has taught me to stop and pause next time I do something or take on new roles and responsibilities outside of the home. He has taught me that I need to be considerate in what I do next.

Mxo

P.S: After years of trying to kill Jacob - for receiving a blessing intended for Esau from their father (under false pretences) - the brothers are reconciled many years later. Blood is, after all - thicker than water ;-)

Lessons from the RWC

New Zealand has just competed in a World Cup 45 day tournament for Rugby. Rugby is a 15-a-side game all centred around an oval ball. For a dummies guide to Rugby - not that you are a dummy - but rather the author is ;-) have a look at my 21st of August blog for a refresher ;-) There were 20 teams from across the planet competiting from Russia to Namibia, Argentina to Samoa and in between. The country plunged itself into the festivities and according to the media are confirmed as the bestess host country of this tournament EVER...

Anyway, love it or hate it, in New Zealand or America - it came, it saw and was conquered. Here are my lessons from the Rugby World Cup (RWC) 2011.

LESSON ONE - Get over it!
I don't particularly like Rugby. Like I have mentioned before, I was a rugby widow with small babies and it sucked. The older I get, and with the increase  of tv coverage of the sport - my middle-aged husband, whom I have been married to for 20 long rugby loving years - dominates the tv and I am subjected to games, re-runs of games, talk-shows on games, more talk shows on the rugby, seven days a week... only to have given birth to two sons, who have grown up to play and talk rugby!! So lesson number one - the RWC taught me to get over myself, and embrace it because it is something that the man and manchildren that I love - do! So I got a grip and got over myself and joined the hype ;-) and quietly between me and you - I actually enjoyed it!!

LESSON TWO - National Identity/Patriotism

One of the reasons I have had a difficulty with embracing Rugby is because of what it means to the country. It have a clear understanding that it is just a game - yet from what I have observed and by listening to commentators - both social and sports, the media - hard print and live coverage - it has been confirmed for me, that the country's well-being is heavily invested (financially, politically, economically, physically and psychologically) in how we do in Rugby. The latest tournament actually brought peoples together from this fair land in a way that a prime minister could only dream of doing. We had neighbours and strangers standing side by side willing on a single entity against the rest of the world... amazing!

LESSON THREE - Rugby is just a game - NOT

My case is highlighted by the fact that when the national team - the All Blacks lose, the domestic violence rate increases. So for me, the well-being of our menfolk is invested in a game and how well we do. To be fair I am sure that the rates for domestic violence probably spikes when we lose in the other codes - but the correlation with rugby is well documented. The day we can lose and lose graciously in our homes as well as in public - then rugby will truly be viewed for what it is - a game! This is something we can learn from the visiting teams and their supporters. How are we going to change this as a nation?

LESSON FOUR - Overcoming odds

My favourite player in the tournament was Piri Weepu. He is an example of overcoming the odds, and they were certainly stacked up against him in recent times. Firstly, he was unceremoniously dropped from the last world cup team just before the team left much to the dismay of his fans, his whanau and himself. Jo Public was unaware of the reasons - and we were not happy! When he broke his leg last year - it was with abated breath as we watched him recover, then slowly come back into his rugby with his local club, province, super 14 team and finally the All Blacks for the RWC 2011. In the semi-final Piri not only lead the empassioned haka (as he did for all the games), he had the kicking duties (should be number 10's job!), and played his own position while directing play from the backline - and all done as we are just learning - with the flu!! We won that game and Piri became a legend! Sure he played a shocker of a final - but this only goes a long way to telling the coaches - "Mate, one man shouldn't be doing everything!!"

LESSON FOUR - Redemption

The best example of this was in regards to a player called Stephen Donald.
Donald has played his rugby for my local province team for years, and the represented the Chiefs (also based locally) in a super 14/15 tournament with Australia and South Africa. He eventually made it into the All Blacks, however, his time in the black jersey was memorable for the wrong reasons, missed tackles, kicks, and calls.  In fact in his last outing against our arch rivals - Australia, Donald missed kicks costing us critical points and in fact was probably the most hated player in the country as he was blamed for that loss (remember lessons 2 and 3) - forget about the other 14 players ;-) So when we lost some key players to injury in the recent RWC tournament, Stephen Donald got the call and I would suggest the country laughed. He is known as Donald Duck to many of us because the worse thing you can get in another sport code - Cricket is a duck! and who better suited to that role as the last time he kicked he missed and we lost! So, after an unexpected injury to a key player - Donald was called on to play at 9:27pm Sunday, 23rd October in a little jersey that was obviously designed for the much smaller frame of the player he was replacing. Where I was watching - we didn't hold out much hope!! But Donald came on, with the weight of the country on him,  knowing that that same country was fractured in their support of his recall, and what does he do - he kicks a penalty square in between the uprights and won the game for New Zealand against France 8-7. And there you have it - redemption! From a zero to hero ;-)

Love it or hate it - the Rugby World Cup came, saw, and we conquered it. It brought me together with friends who are on the other side of the world, Aussie & even in Auckland as we ran a running live commentary on facebook while watching in different timezones...! It taught me some things about myself, and about the country in which I love - some things to be improved on - some things that are cool - and then other things that just 'are' the same yesterday, today and probably tomorrow, when it comes to the number one sport in the country - RUGBY.

Yours in friendship,

Mxo

"I am not addicted!"

According to my son, my husband and I are the only parents on the planet that restrict our children's playing time on their PS3/Xbox games. When we got the boys their first PS2 we set aside one hour a week for them to play which was on a Saturday. As they have grown older - and the PS3 came along, this hour is still in place with a bit of leeway to accomodate for rewards (one son will take more time on his game than money) and holidays etc. These rules have somehow catapulted Maurice and I to the envious place as the worst (strictest) parents out there!! But, I don't care really because if it were not for those rules, I know that I would NEVER see one of my sons again as he would never come out of his room EVER!

Is he addicted? I tell him he is but as all addicted souls believe - his emphatic cry quickly comes back to me "I am not addicted!" Actually, I believe he isn't because he functions as a citizen in the world, attends school and church and actually can make words into sentences - so he's fine....its just that gaming sure is something he loves to to.


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So you can imagine the amusement we both shared (from different sides of the story) when in our local paper there was an article on page three entitled Online `snack' gaming now seen as mainstream fun or time filler. He was attracted to it because it had the word gaming ;-) and I wanted to see what the findings were saying about something we are both passionate about - albeit different ends of the spectrum.

The article is based on a study done in July 2011 by a university of 2428 people across 846 New Zealand homes, and here are my top five facts of interest:

ONE - Not just pimply geeky boys

My sons aren't either pimply or geeks ;-) so I already knew this. However, the study showed that 90% of New Zealand homes have some form of gaming device in the home. Nintey percent!

TWO - The average age of a gamer

"Research shows video games are no longer the domain of teenage boys, with the average Kiwi gamer 33 years old." and a key finding of this research was that 47% of gamers are girls. I wasn't suprised to see the first statistic because I know grown up men who play PS3 games, some of which don't have jobs, or are at school or on shift work. Of note here is that this survey actually included games on mobile phones, ipads, notebooks, computers and my personal favourite - social networds. I would suggest that this type of gaming is responsible for the spike in this statistic as adults can afford the higher end of technology and we play in our breaks, on the way to work and even for exercising (Wii) etc. What it shows is that that it is no longer a teenager 'thing'. as for the stats for girls - it is not suprising as the likelihood that girls will have mobiles and a heavy investment in social networking and other things that technology can provide to keep them connected to each other. Incidentally, this is my theory for why Scotty won American idol 2010 ;-)

THREE - Daily usage

My son had great delight in pointing out that 58% of people play either daily or every other day. I know when he comes back from school we will be talking about how his one hour a week can still be maintained ;-) That's a lot of time playing games people!

FOUR - Money, money, money

While I struggle to keep law and order in my house - the gaming industry bombards our children, and through other means entices grown ups to engage in some kind of gaming. Our phones now have access to a myriad of game options which can include battling others in games through our 'gadgets'. It is not going to stop or slow down. In in fact, the New Zealand gaming industry is going to be worth $192 million by 2015. That is a serious amount of money.

FIVE - Education

92% of parents who play computer games, use them to educate their children. I can understand that maths games and spelling games would be great tools - but I fail to see what my love for bejewelled blitz on facebook is going to teach my children :-) I would probably want to see this stat teased out a bit and explained more because as it is - it is most concerning to see that our children are being taught by a machine in the home and not by real people.....

So, where do you fit in terms of these findings? I know I'm going to be having a face-to-face verbal conversation (with no sign of any form of electronics in sight) with my son very soon to find out ;-).

Yours in friendship,


Mxo