Goodbye 2011

I love this time of the year! I'm a great self reflector at the best of times, but getting ready for a new year is the perfect opportunity to review more than normal and without feeling bad about it.....

Here are my top five pieces of advice/emails/words/thoughts that I have received in 2011. Thank you to the wonderful people in my life that provided me with these words of love. They certainly helped me at the time and will be called on to help me navigate another 365 days on this planet :-) If you find something helpful for you - that is certainly a bonus!!

Step away from the chocolate
In my journal I have recorded the following words: "She told me to go home - like NOW, ring and make an appointment with *** and organised that first. She told me to go home, change the sheets on my bed and put the electric blanket on or hot water bottle and hop in there and SLEEP. She aslo advised me to find somthing to do like - write or she even suggested that I go to the temple (and this is someone not of my faith...) she advised me NOT to go home and pig out on chocolate and that because it will only make me feel sick......" Advising me not to go home and eat chocolate - what woman tells another woman to step away from the chocolate? A true friend, that's who....... 

One day at a time
In a question "how am I going to get through another day?" the reply was simple - "take one day at a time". This from someone that I trust implicitly and to make it even better - someone who had themselves, made it through some dark times in their own life....

Time Out for Women
At Time Out for Women Conference this year, Laurel Christensen presented some thoughts based on the scripture Mathew 7:9 which reads "... what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?" Her message was that if we want or need something, having prayed for it and specific in our requests, and done everything we can do ourselves to make something happen - then it is unlikely we will be given a 'stone'. She taught that in order for this principle to work, we had to do the following; 1) pray in faith, 2) think with faith and 3) live with faith. The conference was life-changing!

Birthday wishes
This year both of my sons gave me a card which was lovely.... but the words inside were priceless. For mums out there raising sons - you will know that emotions and actual words are an economy that boys don't spend often ;-) so when they wrote some thoughts - I was brought to tears.... In one card it read "On this great day mum I'd like to say happy birthday. When I saw this card I thought it was perfect because I wouldn't have to write anything because it already said what needed to be said. But just in case I'll tell you how much I love you which would be to heaven and back, although you may not hear me say it to you Mum, just know thats how I feel inside. I hope I'm not too much of a pain mum..." Isn't that beautiful, but what was so cool and reminded me that my blood does run through my babies - he added "....and I hope you get a job soon....." :-) Thank you babies xx

Quotes
There were so many so which ones made the cut?? Here are my top picks of the many that I have collected this year from unknown - "Now is the time, this is the place, you are the one", a prayer given by Pastor Joe Wright in the Kansas House Representatives on Janurary 23rd 1996 (check with Mr Google and he will help you), from anonymous "May you always have: enough happiness to keep you sweet, enough trials to keep you strong, enough success to keep you eager, enough faith to give you courage and enough determination to make each day a good one.",  and one from Marilyn Munroe "I believe that everything happens for a reason; people change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together....."I know, Marilyn Munroe - who would've know?

But by far - my favourite from the movie New Year's Eve Movie by the character played by Hillary Swank at a press conference when the giant ball that falls every year at New York's Time Square becomes stuck "[The ball is] suspended there to remind us before we pop the champagne and celebrate the New Year, to stop and reflect on the year that has gone by. To remember both our triumphs and our missteps - our promises made, and broken. The times we opened ourselves up to great adventures - or closed ourselves down, for fear of getting hurt. Because that's what New Year's is all about: getting another chance. A chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more. And stop worrying about 'what if' and start embracing what would be. So when that ball drops at midnight - and it will drop - let's remember to be nice to each other, kind to each other. And not just tonight but all year long."

Happy New Year!!

Yours in friendship

Mxo

Just another day............ NOT!

I have heard a few times in my life people saying that Christmas is just another day..... and they don't really get into it.... Today, I was told that because  I was part of the "people who love Christmas" I didn't understand.... well, actually I do. I know that Christmas is commercialised beyond recognition, but here is what I have learnt about Christmas and why I get over myself and get into it!!
 

I want to thank my beautiful mother for instilling me the christmas spirit and regardless of her desperate situation - Christmas was never cancelled and it was never just another day..... Here was a single mother with nothing yet all I remember is the joy we got from putting up our tree, the love of the decorations (which I saw for the first time in a long time as an adult - and cannot imagine what we saw in them ;-)), and the Christmas story. It was never about presents (although I have to admit - I have never quite grasped this concept ;-) even my sons who think they are near to homeless will be getting something ;-)), but always about family and being together with good food. When she got a new tree it was a family decision and quite a large financial investment for her yet it was something that she valued and we learnt from that. The first Monday of December the tree would go up and we would decorate it after reading the Christmas story. The children would enact it. We had a lot of fun and love was abound!

It wasn't always that easy for her though. On the 20th of December 1983, my mother's sister, her husband, a family friend/relative and their six children were returning home after doing some shopping. A truck, according to the police reports, we later heard turned the corner and jack-knived into the path of their van. That accident killed my aunty, her husband, their only daughter (my cousin), a son (my cousin) and their friend/cousin and left their four reamining children orphaned and in hospital spread across northland. I remember vividly the instant my mother was told of the accident and will never forget that day. The pain, I am sure, my cousins feel every day and not just at Christmas time but has that been enough to cancel Christmas? No. I want to wish my cousins a very Merry Christmas and thank them for being an example of living through the worst day of their lives and yet turning out to be good people. I love them.

Some years ago, I ended up at the back of an ambulance and in hospital. It turned out after about two days in there that my appendix were moments away from bursting and already infected..... I was rushed into theatre for an operation on christmas eve and spent christmas day on morphine ;-) The children quickly learnt that Santa was actually not very well that year and after she got out of hospital would visit them.... I remember wrapping presents in pain because Santa's husband had NO idea ;-) Yip, I think that year the boys realised who Santa really was ;-) They were seven. I learnt that year that Christmas was about being grateful for good health and family and presents and even Santa was waaaaaay over-rated!! 

This year there are no presents under our tree. The boys think they are the ONLY ones in the world that are not getting presents this year! One of them is taking it into his stride and knows that things will turn around - he hopes ;-) The other one is struggling with the concept and has offered to go without food so he can see something go under the tree with his name on it ;-) I am grateful for their cousin who said that he was told that they wouldn't be having christmas presents this year and when he asked his mother for about the millioneth time - what they were getting for christmas - she said "vinyl & carpet" (for their beautifully renovated kitchen and dining room) ;-) I thank my sister-in-law for teaching my children that Christmas is about priorities and even though there are no presents this year - we are still having Christmas!

So, for me, when I hear people say it is just another day I wish them alittle bit of what I have. I wish them the spirit of giving and sharing, of laughter and family. It is one day when we should release ourselves from worldy troubles and remember the birth of the Saviour and how blessed our lives are for it. And however we chose to do it - either with new vinyl under our feet or a $2 secret santa gift - then so be it.

Whatever you do, please try and make it more than just another day - make it an awesome day of remembering. Enjoy it, even if you have to 'fake it 'til you make it' for the children's sake..... so that when they grow up to be my age - they know that christmas day is sooooooooo not like any other day of the year!!

Yours in friendship,

Mxo

My sista

On Saturday I watched my sister complete a 2km swim in the ocean as part of a team competing in a half ironman and I couldn't have been more prouder of her. I was so proud, my mother's genes overcame me and I shed some tears everytime I saw her get out of the water to round a peg to go back in to swim another circuit three times! I spent most of that day, afternoon and some time after thinking about her and her achievment and the reasons why those tears of pride and joy fell...

My sister is three years younger than me. She is the middle child of our family. She is pretty clued on when it comes to finances and business, and is technologically savvy (this is in comparison to me so not sure if that counts...)We have been described by people that know us to be totally different yet when people see us know that we are sisters. In fact, people are often getting us confused which is more of a insult to her than me - I mean, who wouldn't want to be seen as someone three years younger than they really are ;-) Our relationship has grown over the years but it as adults that we are getting to know each other and becoming friends. These are the things that she teaches me....

PEACEMAKER

When we were little, I remember my mother doing an activity that would get us to think of something positive about each other and we would share that. What I do recall from that activity the most is Zina being described as the peacemaker. This is actually funny considering the combats her and my brother used to engage in, but in general she has a soft heart and is caring, considerate and compassionate. She is often the inbetween of people and looks for the good to EVERY story and person. She is softer that I am in a lot of ways, and forgives easier which makes it quicker for her to find peace around her and within herself.

TENACITY

In the oxford dictionary this word means to hold or stick to something and this is something my sister teaches me all the time by her example. Her recent race is a good case in point. She started training for it quite late in the piece and was sick and injured during the build up but she was determined and focussed and there was no way she was going to drop out. Amazing....

COURAGEOUS

I think my sister is one of the most courageous people that I know, because she is living a life as a single mother of two growing children in a community that is away from her own support systems. She lives this life without fear and basically on her own, and she teaches me about having courage. If I think about the race she has just completed, I would not even have half of her courage to go into open water and swim - I am paralysed by just thinking about it - and yet, off she went, into the unknown and did it!! 

BUDGET

My sister is an accountant. If you know any accountants, I believe they are all the same - continually doing risk, benefit and cost analysis... Everything is about money either the productive and effective use of, or the waste, the re-cycling value of, or the loss and debt of something. I think that is a skill that I could use more... I love this about my sister because it puts 'real' back into money and she needs to remind me more about this lesson..... but I digress. The coolest thing about being an accountant is her ability to budget. Because of this talent, she has just taken her children on a two week overseas holiday. She has planned for it and budgeted it for it and done it all on her own and I am so proud of her.

FINISHER

If my sister starts something - she will finish it. She has been, and always will be like that. The journey may not be pretty and the end product may not be the most stunning but my goodness, heaven and earth will be moved so that she finishes. Watching her race on Saturday, although I know she struggled in places with people swimming over her and directly infront of her.... there was one thing for certain - she was going to finish....

Thank you sista for the wonderful lessons you teach me everyday and congratulations for completing your 2km skim. You were truly inspirational!

Mxo