Jealous Much? Stop it!!

Today I had lunch with Mr and I said to him - "I don't know why some people don't like so n so - I do, we do, so why do some people not?" Mr replied and said "whenever someone doesn't like someone else they are jealous of them - it always comes down to that..." When I was at my last job he used to tell me this all the time before propping me up and sending me back in and I never got it then and I don't get it now. I have never been jealous of what another person has. I have had a quick peak, and sometimes I wished Mr would make enough money so we could have one like it - but never felt anything harmful towards that person. I genuinely celebrate in people's successes....

But I am not innocent. I may not be jealous of people but I'm wicked at judging and if it was an olympic sport I would be a gold medalist, world champion holding concurrent world and olympic world records. A friend of mine told me once that I judge people too harshly and quickly. He should know he was my boss at the time and although not a member of my faith - he was and is, the best example of someone who was slow to judge and someone I respect for this. His counsel has always stayed on my mind since then and I am trying harder.....

So what d'ya know a couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to listen to one of my favourite speakers Deiter Uchtdorf and he talked about judging others and it could have blown me over and I felt like he was talking directly to me!! I didn't see it with everyone else, I was watching a recorded version and even then I was squirming in my seat ;-) He counseled me to stop it with these words: "It’s that simple. We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children. God is our Father. We are His children. We are all brothers and sisters. We must recognize that we are all imperfect—that we are beggars before God. Haven’t we all, at one time or another, meekly approached the mercy seat and pleaded for grace? Haven’t we wished with all the energy of our souls for mercy—to be forgiven for the mistakes we have made and the sins we have committed? Because we all depend on the mercy of God, how can we deny to others any measure of the grace we so desperately desire for ourselves?

He then went on to give us all a little self-test:

"Do you harbor a grudge against someone else?

Do you gossip, even when what you say may be true?

Do you exclude, push away, or punish others because of something they have done?

Do you secretly envy another?

Do you wish to cause harm to someone?
And in response he says "If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may want to apply the two-word sermon from earlier: stop it!"
and closed his comments with the following:

"Brothers and sisters, there is enough heartache and sorrow in this life without our adding to it through our own stubbornness, bitterness, and resentment. We are not perfect. The people around us are not perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way. Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord’s way. Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive. Lay your burden at the Savior’s feet. Let go of judgment. Allow Christ’s Atonement to change and heal your heart. Love one another. Forgive one another. The merciful will obtain mercy."

His words are sooooo noted in my little world of knowing that I have taken this to be my number one challenge for 2012 to stop it! To stop judging harshly and quickly. To remember that no one is perfect - including me. And most of all - I am going to continue on my pathway of letting go.... Its going to take some time.... I'll let you know how I go.

Yours in friendship, Mxo

Like riding a bike.....

I have been back at work for one whole week now and its just like the saying - its just like riding a bike -you never forget how. But for me - going back to work is probably more like the last time I got my big frame on a bike - not a pretty sight, very unsteady and my thighs started to burn faster than you could say "giddy up" :-) So going back to work has been like that! :-) Well, maybe not so dramatic but definitely an interesting ride so far.

As you know - the three people that read my blog - make that four because I email it directly to Mr M ;-) I have been off work for eight months... which in the life of a reduced-to-one income family is one pile of unpaid bills too long - so going back to work has been a godsend in that sense....

Here are the things that I have learnt about getting back onto this bike called employment.

1) Be happy to have a job
I thought that when I finished work, with my set of qualifications and experience, I would be marketable, and therefore anyone would be happy at the least and possibly falling over themselves at the most :-) to have me on their staff. Well, after my first rejection, I thought ok - so I didn't want to work there - but after the third one without making a short list - I knew I was in big do-do. The trouble, as the days moved to weeks and months is that there are a lot of people out there that are just as marketable if not more, and we are all competing in a job market the size of a broom closet.. Added to my concern was my realisation that I am getting older as well, and that wasn't hard enough I was competiting with kids that are just out of university - fresher, less experienced and therefore possibly cheaper to hire. True, I have my Masters degree - but really, even that qualification is aging..... so when this particular job came up and I went on to interview - I was very concious of how blessed I was to even have got that far! I will always be happy to have a job.

2) I never want to forget
My sister asked me a really good question that stumped me and I have kept it in my mind ever since. She asked me if I was going to start spending stupendously again - well, these weren't her words but mine but you get the idea ;-) and I answered - "I am never going back there again, because I know what it is like to go without!".... So as I have just spent more in the weekend than I have in the past eight months - I HAVE to remember what is like to go without - otherwise I haven't learnt anything!!

3) The joy of money
Recently, I was paid for some contract work I was doing and the first thing I did was get uniforms for my sons and some clothes that they needed and it made be happy. I took my son to A & E and paid for that and it brought me joy because a few months earlier my other son had to sit his illness out until I could get to a cheap Dr. Having money has brought joy, and I only experience this joy because I have known what it was like to have none.

4) Things are things
Lessons are repeated because people like myself need to be reminded every now and then... and this little episode of mine has been no different... A week or so before my mother passed away I wanted to buy her something for mother's day. I remember being in a shop in the Sylvia Park mall when this overwhelming realisation came upon me that there was NOTHING worth buying because she was not going to be able to take it with her!! That was five years ago, and I had forgotten that. But after being out of work - I was reminded again, that things are things.

5) Priorities
Before I finished work I remember saying "I don't know when my children were no longer my priority". When they were little I had to be there when they finished school and then that turned into being away days, nights, weekends, and just not being around only to wake up one day and all of a sudden they were what I called "self raising flowers". Although said in jest, it cut me deep because being a mother is my one thing that I want to do well..... so I finished work and sorted out my priorities and now putting that into action is in play. I am doing really well 8 days later and look forward to building on the great start of coming home, leaving work behind and being present for the family ;-) There is one thing I know for certain - failure is not an option this time round because I have some dear friends and a all-seeing sister to keep an eye on me!!

So these are my lessons for my first week back at work.... it really is just like riding a bike - you never forget how to it... and no matter how ugly it might look - it's all about the ride. Ask me how I'm going after six months ;-)

Yours in friendship,

Mxo

Something fishy

I had my first mouthful of smoked Salmon last year in November 2011. I'm over forty and have friends that always order it when we have sushi or go out, and ahh, ohh, and mmmm over every morseful - but not me - I always order chicken. First of all, I don't like things that look raw and Salmon sushi does so that was never going to work and also I just don't like things that are raw, like most seafood my people eat :-) So I must have been starving when I took a mouthful of a salmon entree last year and ohmigosh, I kid you not - I was hooked on that - and nearly ate the whole plate!! Now, I haven't ventured out to buy salmon sushi yet but I thought that day wasn't going to be too far away - until I watched David Attenborough's programme "Nature's Great Events" episode called The Great Salmon Run. I saw this episode a few weeks ago now and yet I can't help thinking about it every now and then - so touched was I... Those salmon go through a lot to be a salmon...... so not sure if I could eat it without remembering that.... We'll see ;-)

Here are the lessons that I learnt from the Great Salmon Run of the Pacific Salmon

1) There is a God

Every episode of David Attenborough's documentaries confirmed for me that there is a God. For some, acknowledging that there is a God is untenable - but honestly for the events to happen which are captured in these beautiful programmes - you have to be a bit ?? to think there is not a higher being in charge of this great big planet.... I'm no intellect or theologist but I know for a fact, that if man (as in human beings) were in charge - this planet would have been stuffed up a loooooong time ago. This is evidenced in the fact that the things that man is in control of are dying or dead, running out or extinct.

2) Making a mark

The Great Salmon Race was focussed on Pacific Salmon and the annual salmon run on the west coast of North America where hundreds of millions of these animals return to the very place that they were born to spawn and die. Yip - their plan is to return to the place they were born which is hundreds of kilometres from where they lived their entire four to five years to complete a life cycle.  What moved me the most was how the programme doesn't end with the death of the Pacific Salmon but adds, that there is possibly no other animal whose existence makes such a mark as the Salmon. David Attenborough tells us that even in death, the benefits of these fish are long-lasting and far-reaching with the nutrients of the decaying fish not only ensuring the waterways and river beads are fed but their goodness seeps into the surrounding forests and inland areas by being carried in by bears, birds, and other animals. What is my mark? What mark are you making? Where is our influence being felt or known?

3) There is opposition in all things

The adversity these salmon face is amazing, but such is their focus (which in itself is unbelieveable - travelling thousands of kilometers to their destination - against the current), that they keep going, and going. In fact, of those millions that start the journey back to their birthplace only a fraction actually make it to the end. Instead of thinking, "stuff this - I'm out" and turning around after the first hurdle, or opting out of the trip in the first place, - these fish just keep heading towards their goal. While at sea, these Salmon are dinner  for Orcas, Stellar Sea Lions, and Salmon Sharks. As they get into the streams and rivers, besides battling nature (sometimes the water doesn't rise enough for them to swim upstream that die), they are on the menu of  hungry bears and even the Bald headed Eagle. Sometimes, I think I have it bad - but I remember that surely if a Pacific Salmon can battle against what appears to be unsummountable odds - surely this chick can too!!

4) Change starts from inside

The Pacific Salmon are born in fresh water but they live their entire lives in the salt water sea. So in order for them to return to their birthplace, and I found this fascinating that their body chemistry changes so that they once again survive living in fresh water. This change allows them to survive long enough to get to where they need to spawn, but what stays on my mind is that these fish are slowing dying because of this chemistry change - amazing. While they are waiting in shallow waiting for water levels to rise for them to swim in - Salmon also change body shape and colour in preparation for spawning. If they are these holding areas for too long their features change so much that some turn out to be just plain ugly ;-), like bumps on their heads or even curly nose looking things ;-) The lesson is that for these fish to get to where they need to be, their changes are what we call "life-changing",  "wholesale" or "sweeping" or in easy terms - like Bill Bixby turning into Lou Ferrigno (human to the hulk :-)). What are the changes I need to make to get to my goals - are they life-changing or half-pie? What are we doing to start those changes?

5) Home

The trip home for Pacific Salmon is amazing. When you take a google earth view of the journey it is incredible - the fish moving from the open sea up tiny narrow streams and rivers, against the current to get to one place - home - where they were born, really, has to be seen to be believed. The fact that they are born with the ability to do this (there has to be a God - because man can get lost on any given day :-)) is mindblowing..... but this journey is is not theirs alone. I want to go home - to my mother one day and a loving Heavenly Father. This life that I am living through has adversity, opposition and although not life-threatening, it can be soul destroying and challenging - but thanks to the examples of the Pacific Salmon, adn the story telling of David Attenborough and the BBC - I can do it!!

Nature's Great Events - love your work!!

Yours in friendship,

Mxo