Dear Skinny....

I'm writing this blog while I am chomping down on my spinach salad like it was a big juicy burger and having a little giggle to myself. I'm having a laugh because, as I'm yumming and mmming over a salad - I'm remembering just the other week I was watching a programme and the people were going out for dinner - and I watched as they ordered and thought to myself - "whatever - who would order a salad for a main meal!!??" Isn't that so funny - because here I am 40-something years old and on this eating programme where for the next 12 weeks I am going to be doing just that - eating a salad as a main meal.... Is that irony or what??

So I thought to myself I would write a letter to my inner skinny to let her know....

Dear Skinny - I hope you are doing alright? I know that you have been stuck inside for 24+ years but if I can just keep on this latest eating regime - you may actually get out of there ;-) I'm not really expecting you to look like you did 24 years okay - and in fact I would settle with you looking like you did before you had the boys ;-) but I guess that's part of the excitement of seeing each other again.

It's not like it is going to be difficult or anything right? All I have to do is stop eating all the food that I believe makes the world a better place like: bread with or without butter, for special occasions or just because, bread freshly baked or toasted - heck any kind of bread; KFC, Mommas donuts, burgers - chicken, mince, homemade or from Wendys, Maseis pizzas, chop suey, rice, mayonaise, hot chips, crispy chips, twisties, peanut slabs, hershey peanut butter cups, and whatever else my little fingers can get a hold of ....

It's not even like there was anything wrong with not being able to fit my clothes. I have a farmers card (yes Mr - it has some recent charges) and clothes are on special all the time especially after the season is over.... My other clothes hang-outs are great too because they are always sending me brochures so that I don't even have to leave the house.... And if all else fails, the good old safety pin trick is tried and true. C'mon Skinny you know that trick - the one where I use the safety pin to join the top of the zip to the top of my pants ;-) In my mind I see you in my clothes but then I look in the mirror you disappear - what's up with that??? But don't worry Skinny, you'll be coming out in 80 more days ;-)

  

So I know its been a while Skinny - but thankfully Mr remembers what you look like. It helps as well that his parents have a giant wedding photo of Mr and I when you were on the outside ;-) I have to say the best photo though that reminds me of what you look like, is that photo that we used as a engagement photo and ended up including in our wedding invitations. You know the one Skinny, right there in the hallway - when you come out of the bathroom.  I think Mr is secretly waiting for you to come out of hiding.... but I have told him that you are looking just as haggard and he can kiss that engagement photo goodbye, because I have seen your hair - and you cannot hide those grey ones or silence those getting older aches and pains either...  Shouldn't be a problem really - in 11.5 weeks the two of you can see each other again.

But seriously, Skinny, it's been great writing to you. I know that you are waiting to get out but I just have to tell you that even when do - I'm still going to be me okay.... Who cares if you can fit really cool clothes, and can run and jump around like a teenager - you will always be the same.... and if you don't behave - back inside you go!!

Well, I better get going skinny. See you in 1920 hours - but who's counting ;-)

Yours in Friendship,

Mxo

Get the girls out ;-)

Lately on tv a Breast Screen Aotearoa advertising campaign to encourage women to have breast checks/mammograms has been running. The last one I saw was when the Aunties - Ella Henry and Whetu Fala were visiting a building/construction site and were talking to the men there about why it was important for the women in their lives to go and get checked. It ends when Aunty Ella asks one of the builders "so when you get home tonight, what are you going to say to your Mrs?", he smiles and replies "get the girls out". Of which they all join in with "get the girls out!"

Although breast cancer is serious, the ad made me giggle and smile. It also makes me think that my sister and I need to get checked out as well - so I guess the ad has worked for me ;-) I also like the ads because they are keeping breast cancer issues to the forefront which is awesome.

This year marks the 5th year of the passing of my mum to breast cancer. I wanted to do something for her that wasn't staying at home and crying a river - but something memorable and she would be happy with. With that in mind, I decided to host a Pink Ribbon Breakfast. I wanted to keep it personal to me and my family - but invited anyone who wanted to be there. Friends provided the music, were the inspiration speakers (3),  my husband and sons helped me decorate, and another friend sponsored 2 lots of her gourmet cupcakes and a special breastcancer cake to be auctioned off (which combined raised over a hundred dollars) and I was the MC. What was so touching was that the musicians on the day had lost their mother to cancer, the cake maker's mother had had breast cancer and lived and of course the ladies that I asked to speak were breast cancer survivors and inspirational!! It was a lovely morning and in the end raised over $1600 with my organisation donating $500. A big thank you to the people, and especially my friends who came and helped out - my life is blessed because of you.. So, my pink ribbon breakfast was a fitting way to remember our mum who, had she lived, and as she spoke about doing when she got better, would have gone on to be a volunteer for the breast cancer society because of the service that they had done with her. I think this is going to be the next step for me - so watch this space!!

Breast cancer is a big deal in my life and the life of my family - starting with my mother's favourite colour pink. For my mum's funeral, at her request, everyone wore pink. Her grave was surrounded by pink balloons that each grandchild released once she was buried. At her unveiling we were all dressed in pink and each grandson, son and son-in-law have pink ties that they wear often in memory of their Nan and mother/in-law.

Every opportunity I have I purchase Breast Cancer Society/ Foundation merchandise in support of  eradicating this disease that claims so many beautiful people. What is more important though, is because of breast cancer history in our family (my mother's sister also had a lump discovered at the time of her passing), it is critical for my sister and I and even our nieces to get checked regularly - or as the ad encourages us to Get the Girls Out!

Here are some things that we all need to know:

Symptoms of breast cancer can include:

• A new lump or thickening in the breast or armpit area,
• A change in skin of the breast, areola or nipple which can inclue the colour, dimpling, puckering or reddening,
• A newly retracted/inverted (pulled in) nipple,
• A discharge from the nipple that occurs without squeezing, or
• A change in breast shape or size.

Risk factors for breast cancer
The main factors for breast cancer are 1) being female (although 1% of breast cancer occurs in males) and 2) increasing age as it becomes more likely that abnormal changes may occur in the over 50s however, breast cancer in younger women also is occuring and is usually more agressive. Other factors may include:

• Family history and genetics. If your mother, sister or daughter has had breast cancer - make those check ups regular!
• Body size. Overweight and obese women have a post menopausal breast cancer risk 20-40% higher than lean women.
• Diet. Studies have suggested that eating a diet high in fat or red meat may increase the risk of breast cancer. Women with the highest intake of fat and red meat would have a breast cancer risk 10-20% higher than a women with a low intake.

Risk reduction factors are physical activity and maintaining a healthy weight..... now don't even get me started on how many healthy and fit people you and I know with breast cancer......

How can we help?
Here are some practical things you can do when someone you care about has breast cancer:

• Keep in touch. You may feel awkward and don't know what to say - there are no 'right' words. Just keep in touch as time passes. Mum had a few friends that visited often and they made her day every time that came. Our family loves these beautiful women.
• Listen. Pay attention to her cues. Don't be afraid to ask her what she wants.
• Prepare meals. Aunty Dolly brought my mum some of her yummy cooking every week and my mother loved every last drop. The only downside to this is that I think we still have her bowls ;-(
• Offer to drive and stay with her through appointments. I was with Mum for every oncologist appointment and 95% of her treatments, however, on that odd occasion I (or my siblings) couldn't pick or drop her off to treatment, we had our friends pick her up... it was always a surprise for Mum who would pick her up ;-)
• Ask when, not what. Instead of asking what can I do - say "when can I do your grocery shopping?" - this apparently makes it easier for someone to accept.
• Support her partner. Mum didn't have a partner as such but in supporting me, I was able to be strong and take care of her....

So my friends - that's about it for this blog. Get the girls out and get checked. The information that I have shared today has come straight out of The Breast Book which is published by the New Zealand Breast Cancer Foundation. It is a very informative read, and if you want to know anything about breast cancer - this publication and other information from their website may be the start you need to get informated.

Remember the best cure for breast cancer is EARLY DETECTION!! So - let's get them girls out!!.

Yours in friendship,

Mxo