How strangers become family

I thought I had an understanding of love but I have learnt more about it in the last month of so... You see there is a beautiful couple (Leon and Nola Felt) who met my husband in 1987 and introduced him to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints of which he became a part of. This beautiful couple then sponsored his last year at High School at Church College of New Zealand (where I met him ;-)) and then went on to support him on his two year mission in Sydney, Australia. On his return, they not only contributed to his wedding, but Leon actually performed the marriage ceremony.

You see somewhere along the line these strangers with no blood ties or legal connection of any kind became my husband's family. They took him into their lives and he has remained a part of it ever since. I know that this phenomen exists because I have dear friends who have become adoptive parents and love their children as if they were their own blood. I have seen it happen, and now I have felt it! My question is: how does it happen?? This is what I have learnt.

The Felts have taught me that the most important thing to building a family is LOVE. They love Maurice as if he were their own. They hold him in their hearts and take a keen interest in all that he does and accomplishes. They are proud of what he does and it is LOVE that turned him from a stranger they bumped into in a littleplace called Kamo, into a son. If blood is said to be thicker than water - I would defy anyone to tell me that blood is thicker than love ;-)

The Felts, althought thousands of miles away keep Maurice in their family by their memories and stories. When we met the Felt's son Bruce for the first time, he said something that I will never forget - it went something like (and I apologise if I got it wrong Bruce) "I know Maurice, I've grown up with stories about him - he's just like my brother!" You see genetics is not what passes down the characteristics and personalities of strangers who become family - what fuels these relationships are stories and the sweet memories which are shared regularly.

Acceptance of new members into a family can be stressful sometimes. I know already that my future daughter-in-laws will experience this first hand ;-) However, with the Felt family - my husband has been accepted wholeheartedly into this family. Maurice was told by the Felt's son Stephen that because Maurice" brought so much joy and happiness to his parent's life - that was enough for him", and the doors to his heart, house, and family were opened. It was amazing for me to see this and I am grateful for being accepted.

Nola and Leon Felt have known and loved my husband longer than I have (by a year ;-)) but that has not stopped them from limiting their love to him. Instead they have included the children and I, Maurice's parents and siblings. Their capacity to love us all has been humbling and I have learnt a lot from their example.

When we arrived and the Felts introduced us - they told people - this is our son and his family.... I have no half-brothers or sisters, no steps in my family, so this 'adoption' concept has been a new experience for me and I have loved it. I know now what it really means to love another as if they were your own because I have been schooled by the best - Nola and Leon Felt.

Their example on how strangers can become family will live with me into the eternities.....

Yours in friendship,

Mxo

Swimming Lessons

I learnt how to swim when I was little but I was never particularly good at it or very fast. In fact my sister and brother are the swimmers in the family... What I can say with some authority is that I am better in the water than I am out of the water ;-) So it was a no-brainer for me to re-acquaint myself with my old friend - the pool, when I chose swimming as my preferred weapon against the bulgeS!! :-). It is amazing where lessons can be learnt - so here are some of my swimming 'lessons' (30+ years since learning how to swim).

Size does matter

I have been doing the same routine that my old swimming coach set me a long time ago. He obviously knew that I have the attention span of a nitwit so he gave me a routine that would have me changing strokes often..... Before starting a new stroke - I have to do 50m kick in that stroke...So for the longest time I had been wondering why on earth I wasn't MOVING when I was freestyle kicking.... I mean it felt like I was in the same place for a long time and moving ever so slowly. I asked my brother about the technique of kicking thinking perhaps it was what I was doing that was having an impact on my ability to move. I even asked around about how to hold the flutterboard given that I thought that may of had an impact on my ability to move.... But the funny thing has happened as I have recently learnt - it is actually the size of the kicker that impacts on the ability to move :-) I mean think about it - it makes perfect sense - kicking to push along an elephant (moi) is going to make a HUGE difference in speed when compared to the same kicking to push along, well, a little elephant ;-) Size does matter!

Speed is relative

The other day I was swimming along and I could see in the next lane an elderly lady (waaaay older than me) and she was blitzing me. I was getting some feelings and tried to increase my speed - only to watch her pass me.  As she past me and in between my strokes I watched in amazement until I saw that the woman had flippers on ;-) So of course she was going to be faster than me and in that moment I realised that I could have swum my personal best but there was never going to be a way for me to pass someone with flippers...  The neighbouring swimmer was going fast for someone with flippers and I was going.... well I was swimming just as fast for someone without -  Speed is relative.

For everyone

Once when I was swimming - like Dory in the movie Finding Nemo just "swimming, swimming - just keep swimming" I was stopped in my tracks by I swear the biggest person that I have ever seen... You will need to know that I wear prescription glasses - so the exact size will remain a mystery ;-) But I will stick to my story that he or she was long as they were wide, very dark, long hair and I have to say - cut a very imposing figure. So I navigate past him/her and I swim up the lane and turn around and then there were two of them!! The next time I come around they had disappeared. When I finished I saw them with their group of people who were doing exercises and it made me smile as I realised that the pool is for everyone. Whether you are an elephant-like swimmer like me, a little person, or a mysterious giant - the water is for everybody.

Rythum

When I was unwell last year, I remember swimming through that time. My head was so full of all this stuff going on in my life that it wasn't peaceful at all. I used to have this sense of drowning (which is probably more reflective of how I was feeling at the time) and had this ongoing panic-like feeling. It was so chocoblock up 'there' it is amazing that I made it through....I know that on most occasions I used to force myself to keep going and to push through all that busyness - and just keep swimming, up and down, up and down, up and down..... And as I got my rythum back and my breathing sorted the feeling of anxiety and losing breath has slowly dissapated.   In its place I am now steady and at peace... I mean it probably looks like someone bashing the heck out of the water as I slice my way through - but under there - its finally peaceful and my mind is clear.....

The equalizer
The greatest equalizer in the pool is a simple three letter word - a.i.r.  None of us can live without it - that is for certain, however it is not until you are emerged in water that you realise quickly how critical breathing is. You gain an intimate understanding of how desperately you want to keep breathing and how priceless air is. It is a wonderful equaliser - because no matter who you are - you need it! For me it has reminded me how much I have to live for and by sucking in the air I get to live some more....

Have an awesome week.

Yours in friendship,

Mxo