A natural woman!

So, when Alicia Keys came out with her natural woman look with no makeup recently - I had a little giggle because so many kiwis/women in my life do not wear makeup and are straight up natural women all the time. Every. Day. It made me think about the complexities of being a woman....

I know women who do not look in the mirror or hide away, some of whom do not have mirrors in the home because they don't want to see what is in front of them. Ugly, deformity, fat, or jelly bellies are all that they see when they look in the mirror which makes no sense. It hurts me to see these women feel like this because, if there is nothing else you learn in this life - we have to know that we are all made in the image of our creator. We are of divine heritage, that I believe, and because of that, we are beautiful in his eyes - perfectly beautiful. I learnt a long time ago that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and we are the original beholders are we not - so look in the mirror ladies - accept the truth - we may be lumpy, but we are alive and breathing! And even for the ones who think they are too skinny - you too - look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are alive and strong! Even if you don't believe a word of it to start with - keep saying it until you do :-)

I have seen handsome men with women who are average, and for me, and probably the most relevant big women with smaller an attractive men and wondered why or how! I've even had someone who after meeting Mr and then met me, actually say "you must have a lovely personality"! As if to say there could be no other reason why he would have married me. So I personally know how flawed it is to think that people are not attracted because of anything other than visually, but it is human nature at its rawest, and I am only human. It is in these moments where my eyes mislead me that I remind myself of the movie 'Shallow Hal' where Jack Black's character sees Gwyneth Paltrow's character as a beautiful skinny girl when in reality she's a very big girl. The movie teaches us about inner beauty and how wrong we are to judge people on their outside beauty alone!

My inner turmoil, shared my many around self-image and self confidence is intensified because my husband is a handsome man. He looks practically the same as the day I met and fell in love with him.    He is getting older and the gray hairs are showing up mostly on the sides which as I get older is kinda sexy.  Ohhhkay and I digress... where were we?? Aaahh yes - moi.  Myself on the other hand, well I let myself go and don't look anything like I did when we met, hence the comment about my personality!

What is funny is that for  some reason I thought I had done this in isolation, and in some corner of my brain, thought that maybe Mr hadn't noticed ;-) But I got that totally wrong (beside the obvious - the man is not blind!), when we sat the boys down and talked about what to look for in an eternal companion. Mr eloquently, and matter-of-factly explained to the boys that the woman they fell in love with, may phsyically change over time, after they have children he said, and their bodies change.... and pointed to their mother as an example. I wasn't sure if I should be offended or not, but what I definitely was, was impressed. That a man I have been with for almost 30 years, actually had noticed that I was not skinny anymore (duh!), and loves me still. We talked about it and I asked him if it bothered him, and he said in the the early days it did but as we got older he accepted the changes in my body as part of me and although he would love me to be healthy, that was my choice, and by body. 

Remember that. Our bodies are ours and we are fashioned in the image of God. We are perfectly beautiful to Him and those around us. We have to own it, lock it into our core and believe it. Let's try and be confident and we will become more attractive as we get stronger. Or at the very least feel better about ourselves. Why don't we get in front of our mirrors and embrace our beautiful selves -squishy bits and all  and on the days when we can't do it - then find another sista, even in our pjs - and let her remind us what rock stars we really are!!

To my beautiful friends, you  are a natural woman and you are amazing.

Yours in friendship,

Mxo

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Dear son

Dear Son

I thought I would write a short note to let you know how much I love you. By now you should know that you are my world and all I do is for you and your brother. I know that sounds cheesy but it is actually truer than true! Your father and I have been blessed with the best boys. Ever since that day, 21 years ago, we have tried to be the best parents to you...

Watching you grow and navigate this next part of your journey,  and seeing the challenges you face - I sometimes feel uncomfortable because of how I raised you and think if there was anything I would have done different. Lately I have even felt like I should be apologising to you but I refuse...

I am not sorry that I raised you to be a King even when there are people in your lives that will treat you less than that. Instead it will teach to recognise in others who know their own self worth and not dependant on you to keep telling them so.

I am not sorry that I raised you to stand up for what you believe in, when there are others who bend to the whims of popular thought. It has taught you to be strong and face the tests that await you with courage and strength.

I am not apologising  for setting standards and boundaries that kept you safe, when there are some who say there is unlimited freedom without them. Instead, you have been liberated from the restrictions poor choices would have had on your life and you have limitless options ahead of you.

I am not sorry to have raised you to expect there is an equal to you and the way you have been raised, when that may have been unrealistic. What I see it has taught you is to recognise the divine worth in others and have a willingness to help someone reach their own potential.

I will not apologise for teaching you to put God into your life and keep him there even when people you know have forgotten this. I know it is this focus that the atonement is real and that you and I need this gift daily.

By now you would have a perfect understanding of your mother's weaknesses and for this I do apologise. I am still learning even though I am OLD. Learn from me and know that I may have got many things wrong - but it was always while in pursuit of becoming a better mother.

As you prepare for the next chapter in your lives, know that there is no other who loves you like your mother.

Your mum xox