Love

In light of valentines day, I thought I would share some lessons I have learnt from mine. I dedicate this blog to him. Happy Valentines Day.

Here are my love lessons:

1) Love is change
If you think you can change your man - think again. You are deluding yourself if you believe you have that power. After the honeymoon, and the rose tinted glasses I married in had worn out - I was left with the realisation that me and my mate were just two people trying to figure the same stuff out in our different ways. So the solution, as Micheal Jackson sang, is for anyone who thinks they can change their man, to get a mirror, have a good look into it and start right there. I've tried it and re-tried it and time after time it works. So change is good, but its got to come from you.

2) All You Need Is Love
I love the Beatles but growing up to songs teaching me that "All You Need Is Love" - pretty much set me up... because I learnt pretty quickly AFTER I got married that you actually need a whole lot more than love. What you need is money, a steady income, somewhere to live, and food to eat... and one of the things that the Beatles missed out in that song was an education. I learnt that it is everything else BUT love that are the real dealbreakers, and through those things, you really know what real L.O.V.E is. So fellow valentines, when someone says that all you need is love - think again ;-)

3) Love is constant
Choose someone who is steady and can be relied on. You can tell that person by the things that he believes in and what they are willing to negotiate on... It will be better for you if your life partner is constant in honesty, trust and integrity.

4) Love is work
There is a whakatauki (maori proverb) that says "Moe atu nga ringa raupo" which translated means to marry a man with calloused hands. Look for someone who knows the value of work and has a strong work ethic and not afraid to get his hands hardened through work. You will want to find someone who doesn't mind where they work, but knows that to work and provide is good. If you are with someone that would rather stay home or worse work - but think nothing of cutting hours and taking long extended lunchbreaks - then you can do better!!

5) Choose well in love
Elizabeth Browing wrote "Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile" so choose well in love. Be good to yourself when choosing because it is one thing in your life that you do not want to get wrong.

Happy Valentines everyone.

Yours in friendship,

M