Being a Kiwi Mum..

In the newspaper lately the findings of an online study into the psyche of Kiwi mums was released and showed that of the 4708 women that answered, just over 80% of women are feeling overwhelmed, undersupported, unsexy and terrified of making the wrong choices.

Honestly, I am definitely one of these women. I feel all of these things on any given day, or at least one or more of these ALL day. After 40 years, I have finally got my "stuff" together and now, after years of torment, I am finally happy being who I am, where I work, what I do, who I am with, and where I am going on most days.

The authors of this study suggested tips on how to get reclaim their 'sexiness' which I found to be reasonable - and chose my top five. My choices had nothing to do with being sexy but more about finding that strong woman who dwells inside everyone one of us.

TIP ONE - Reconnect with your passion
"Reconnect with what you enjoyed before children."
I think this is great advice but for me, my passions changed because I had children. I added another dimension to what I was already interested in. So, you may find that has happened for you. I would suggest that it would be better to find something that you are passionate about while your children are growing or do something that supports you while you are being a mum. Just remember when you are starting out, or on your own, you aren't going to have a lot of resources, including time - so learn patience quickly ;-)

TIP TWO - Spend time around other happy and positive mums
I think this is also great advice. When you are with people that are like minded (as long as your minds are positive) you will be able to make things happen. It is a skill that you can learn early and apply into your professional life and practice. Surround yourself with good people. If the mothers you hang out with are moaners - move on - otherwise they will end up sucking the life out of you...

TIP THREE - Drown out the noise
You don't always have to listen to what everyone else is telling you to do
I love this advice. I have to admit being a mother is pretty noisy up there in our minds and heads. But we need to be more like the American Idol contestants who, after getting conflicting advice week after week from the judges, were asked "who are you going to follow this week, Randy or Simon?" to which they replied "myself". Own it ladies - you know yourself the best, and like every doctor I visited with my children, told me - "You know your children better than I do :-)". So listen to yourself.

TIP FOUR - Give up the guilt
Give up the guilt - it's a wasted emotion for mums.
I love it and couldn't say it better myself.

And my favourite....

TIP FIVE - Remember
Remember that hearing the word "mummy" is a gift, not a given - many women have trouble even conceiving, so it's important to remember that being a mother is something to be thankful for.
I love this tip because just the other day I had a 'woe be me' moment because I didn't have a daughter - but hey I have two handsome sons, so I quickly checked myself and started counting my blessings again! Sometimes the self adjustment takes longer but the opportunity to be a mother is indeed something to be thankful for. Never forget it ladies....

So, I guess - after all these tips, nothing is more sexier/attractive than a woman who is 'right' in her head, meaning she forgives herself of her flaws while being happy, kind, loving, confident, and satisfied with being herself.

Have a great week.

Yours in friendship,

Mxox