At the beginning of the month, I was at lunch with a couple of friends. While we were talking and sharing about our stressors, one of my friends shared with us a reading that she received that very morning. It started with a scripture found in Colossians 3:13 'Make allowance for each other's faults...' and went on to talk about forgiveness and gave me some food for thought for many days since. It is a topic I have tried to avoid because I'm not very good at it - struggling to even forgive myself for my many weaknesses, but am forever thankful for the great examples in my life that show me how... This is what I know so far...
1) A wife
The first time I had realised that forgiveness was a verb (doing word) was some years ago. My friend, and work colleague at the time had gone through a period where she had discovered that her husband had not only committed adultery but fathered a child to another woman while they were married. I asked her how she could forgive her husband, and her reply has stuck with me ever since, all these years ago. She shared with me that she could only have taken her husband back because she had really learnt the true meaning of forgiveness. She thought she knew what it was before but until she had to put it into practice she really learnt what it was to forgive. It was hard, and it took a lot of work on her part - but it was something that she believed in because she knew it. It makes me weepy remembering that conversation because she truly was and is the most amazing example to me. Today she is very much married, adding another baby to her whanau (at 40+ which is a whole other blog ;-) happy, caring, kind and awesome!
2) A parent
In May 2010, Emma Woods and her two sons were walking home from the supermarket when a 17 year old driver, lost control of his car, which left the road, went up on to the pathway and ploughed into Emma and children. Emma and her six year old were injured but Nayan, her four year old died at the scene. This week, the now 18 year old Ash Austin appeared before a judge for sentencing. Ash was spared a prison sentence - because the judge believed that Ash was genuinely remorseful and was grieving for what he had done. The amazing thing to consider was that the parents of Nayan Woods were strong advocates of Ash not going to jail. I watched with humility the interview of Nayan's father - Duncan, who was not only supportive of Ash Austin but had done something I am not sure I could do, but pray that I would - he had forgiven him.
3) A teacher
The greatest practitioner of forgiveness teaches in Mathew 18:21-23 when asked "Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times" to which the Lord replies "I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven". Between you and I - the number is less important than the action of forgiving over and over and over again until we stop counting and it becomes a part of our every day being....
4) Yourself
We are all humans that make mistakes, often and always. What I have learnt is that we are quick to forgive others but of ourselves we are too slow, if at all. It is not easy. In the reading that my friend shared there was a reference to Mathew 7:1-5 which talks about being careful not to judge others "For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again". So it makes sense that we strive not to judge others and/or ourselves harshly as that is how we will in turn be judged...... and even stronger are the words found in Romans 12:19 where it reads "God said, Vengeance is mine; I will repay." - So, the question is: who are we not to forgive - even if it is ourselves?
5) Families
Thomas S.Monson has said that "in many families, there are hurt feelings and a reluctance to forgive. It doesn’t really matter what the issue was. It cannot and should not be left to injure. Blame keeps wounds open. Only forgiveness heals." He goes on to add the lines of George Herbert, and early 17th century poet which I have always remembered which are “He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven, for everyone has a need to be forgiven". Only forgiveness heals - now that is something I am sure we can all remember.
Have a great week friends and happy bridge building - may you find happiness and peace in doing so ;-)
Yours in friendship,
Mxox
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