A message from the other side...

I have always believed that the distance between this life and the next - those that are living and those that have passed on - is best described as a veil. I believe I have experienced this because I often talk to my mother who has been gone five years this May, and on occasion feel her presence beside me.....

Anyway, recently, my 17 year old dog died and I was devastated. If you are a follower of this blog - you already know how I felt about her..... As she past I kept my cool, but as soon as I got to the privacy of the car - my heart broke and I groaned with pain. I know it sounds dramatic, but if you are a dog lover you know what I am talking about.

Anyway,  I missed her everyday and miss her every time I get in the car, go to the beach, see a tennis ball or even go to bed. I miss holding her in my arms and kissing her but most of all, I miss touching her. I knew from experience that time heals and that Simba's passing would eventually not hurt, but I didn't realise that she would be the one that would help me... you see, I think that she has sent me a message from the other side.

A couple of weeks after Simba died my husband came home and said that he had heard Simba barking. He looked around and knew that dogs were not allowed where he was, but said he heard her barking again. He got the distinct impression that she was okay and that she wanted me to know that. The moment he told me that I knew it was true because I had a feeling that she was close... I can't explain it but my heart started to mend....

However, the most impressive message I have received has come in the most unlikely of forms - a black cat. This cat, who I have called Skinny because she had the skinniest legs that I had ever seen on a cat  - just walked into our lives. I had seen her earlier when Simba was alive but never paid her much attention as she was just one of the strays that were around.... and here she is.

Quite simply, she came into my home and my family and although against her experience as a stray cat she lets us stroke her and pat her. Her ears prick up when we call her Skinny and comes to us when we call, well she brushes her tail up against your hand when you call. She is still jittery when loud noises are made, and even looks like she is ready to skidattle in second but even those kinds of jerky movements are lessening. She is yet to allow me to hold her in my arms but this may come with time.

Unlike Simba, Skinny is not the prettiest of cats - and black as Simba was white... Her eyes are damaged and once we get to the vet, I'll know why, but she already gives my nieces the creeps because of it. Her tail is always up in the air which is different from Simba whose tail was broken and never lifted much.... She follows me when I get up and move around the house for no reason, and is content just sitting beside me doing nothing....

I'm trying not to like her, we all are - out of loyalty to Simba I guess...... but all I know is that when I wake up she is on my bed having jumped on sometime during the evening....... Surely, she has been sent as a message from the other side.

Thank you, and I love you Simba xx

Mxo

Not Julie & Julia :The Edmonds Cookbook

After watching the movie Julie & Julia, I thought I would do something similar but from the Edmonds Cookbook. I thought I would pick five recipes that I liked and would bake them and put them up on my blog. That was over a year ago! So I thought 2012 I'm gonna get it done - so here are four recipes...

Why the Edmonds Cookbook and especially for those of you who don't live in New Zealand? Well,  although it says that the cookbook is seen as "a favourite aunt in many families - thoroughly reliable, always helpful and regarded with great affection..." (Edmonds, 2006, p.8) - it actually reminds me of my mother...  For as long as I remember, we have always had one in the house. The recipes I remember the most were the scones - but those aren't featured today - why ruin that memory? ;-).

Before we start - a warning or two or three.... 1) Julie & Julia was an awesome movie that I have watched more than once and loved it everytime, but just confirming here that my baking is no Julie or Julia. 2) Julie & Julia was a very cool concept - but this is more about me, my mother and a New Zealand classic book so not copying I promise and 3) just in case you missed it - my baking is no Julia Child or Martha Stewart or even one of the blogs I follow called Chef in training.... so I'm asking you to have a look and use your imagination ;-)

Madeira Cake
We love Madeira Cake and the little loaf-like cakes you buy in the supermarket are getting both smaller and  more expensive so I thought why not make one myself and what do you know - the Edmonds Cookbook had a recipe and here it is.

Preheat oven to 180C and grease a 20c square tin and line the base with baking paper. Cream 250g butter and 1 cup of sugar until light and fluffy. Add 4 eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Stir in 2tsps grated lemon zest. Sift 2 1/4c flour, and 2 tsps of baking powder together and gently fold into creamed mixture. Spoon mixture into prepared tin and bake for 30 minutes or until the cake springs back when lightly touched. Leave in tin for 10 mins before turning out onto a wire rack. Before serving, dust with icing sugar. Verdict: «««1/2 loved the lemon flavour which came through nicely. Quite moist and proved popular in the Turketo home (popular meaning it didn't get thrown out for the birds) ;-)

Shrewsbury Biscuits

Shrewsbury Biscuits have been one of the staple snacks in our boys school lunches since they were little as I am sure is the same across the country. Anyway, one day I thought - let's see if the Edmonds Cookbook has a recipe for these and - da-dah!  I know you know what they are meant to look like - but here are my ones. Don't laugh, and if a chuckle slipped - don't worry - you aren't alone. They had to be the UGLIEST Shrewsbury biscuits I ever did see! the good news is that if you google these biscuits - there are plenty UGLY biscuits there as well ;-) Verdict: ««1/2 surprised they didn't brown more, they needed waaaay more jam than the recipe had, were quite hard and kinda spicy (the lemon zest coming through strongly)- probably more about me than the recipe ;-) Preheat oven to 180C. Cream 125g softened butter and 1/2 c sugar until light and fluffly. Add 1 egg and 1tlb grated lemon zest and beat well. Sift 2 c flour and 1 tsp baking powder togehter. Mix dry ingredients into creamed mixture. Knead well. On a slightly floured board, roll out to 4 mm thickness, Cut out rounds using a 7cm cutter. Cut a 1 cm hole in the centre of half the biscuits. Place on greased oven trays. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes. When cold, spread whole biscuits with 1 tsp raspberry jam (I don't agree!) and top with biscuit with holes in them Makes 22.

Chocolate cupcakes

I have friends who have a little business called KK's KupcaKes which are yummy - so one day I thought - I'm going to try and make some chocolate ones. In my clearing up I even found my tupperware icing tools so thought at least they would like okay.... BUT - note to self, wait until cupcakes are cold (as in cold, cold no warm) before icing ;-) Verdict: ««1/2 These weren't very popular (yes, made the throwing out for the birds standard ;-)) and will be trying again with another kind of cocoa and ice when really cold and will let you know how I go.... The recipe for these are found on page 40.

Pancakes/pikelets

The last one are piklets/pancakes. In the more recent editions of the Edmonds Cookbook the recipe for pikelets are gone so I use the pancake recipe and add sugar. Over the years I have made adjustments to the recipe to suit the tastebuds of my family but the basic recipe or formula is 1 egg to 1/2 c sugar to 1 cup of flour to 1 generous tsp of baking flour to 3/4 c of milk. For my family of four I usually do a batch of 3-4 eggs. I use butter on a hot plate and the rest is yummyistory ;-) Verdict: ««««1/2

I don't know how Julie did it, following a years worth of Julia Child's recipes and blogging about it when I have only managed to do four - but it was fun. I'm yet to get into the dinner recipes, but looking forward to the challenges those will bring and who knows - there might be a part two of this blog to come ;-)

Yours in friendship,

Mxo

Regrets

Recently I have been thinking about regrets - things like the unfortunate opportunity to have them and wishing like heaven they never happened and wondering - am I the only one with them and how the dickens do you get rid of them!! In an email, in response to my speaking of one of mine, an Aunty wrote "don't habour regrets it does no good for anyone". How true is that!!

As soon as I read that, I thought about my attempts thus far....

1) Regrets can teach us lessons.

Even regrets can teach us lessons. Rushing a conversation with my Nanna was a regret that I had. I was 19 years old. I had come out of class at university and was trying to get a hold of someone... and she answered the phone and wanted to have a little chat. I was busy and running late for a private piano theory lesson which was about 20 minutes drive (on my scooter) so I hurried our conversation in order to get moving. The regret I have was that my Nanna died hours after talking to me...... For years I carried that regret of rushing her and especially without saying a proper goodbye. However, it is because of this REGRET - that I make sure that I end every phonecall with my family with a "love you"... just in case... even my 38 year old little brother can't escape it :-)!  

2) Forgiveness is real

Everyone has regrets and the worst are with whanau. One of mine involves a custody issue. This regret is a heavy little beggar which I am still chipping away some three years after getting it. The relief from this heaviness has come in the form of two dreams in which an Uncle who has since passed, has come to me and showed me that forgiveness is real. He looked free of any troubles, any hurt feelings, and genuinely happy to see me and I tell you in those brief seconds - I feel forgiven... and it is good. My advice, forgive yourself for your part in any regretful situation - that's where the challenge continues to be for me - but when we do, it promises to be the moment that we will be free from the burden called regret! 

3) Don't be Stupid Dear

I'm not sure its actually a regret but its something that I think about often specifically looking for things I could have done better to help my mother... Days before my  mother passed, her local GP came to check on her and advised me that she had maybe three to five days or a week to live.... It was after I had told the Hospice nurse what the Dr had said - that she advised me to 'prepare for three days because your mother's time was very near" - that I LOST it (for maybe 20 secs)..... I pulled myself together (worthy of an academy award) and went into Mum's room. She asked me "what did the Dr say?" and I said "nothing....." HELLO - how stupid did I think she was?? That's the regret.... Anyway, I have come to understand that I did the very best I could for my Mum and although I should have told her the truth about what the Dr said - because she already knew it!, I KNOW that she loves me and any regrets about that time are RUBBISH. In fact if she were here, she would actually say - "don't be stupid dear!!".... Have a look at your regrets - are they silly? They probably are - so let it/them go!

4) True friendships are resilient

Last year a friend of mine found out that I thought that they may have been having an affair. I know you can imagine what happened next and although several months later I still feel stink about that - what I learned from my mate was that true friendships are resilient and although ours had suffered a little blip - nothing had changed for them - and we are still friends. By continuing to fret over it - it then is only MY problem and I  have had to learn to get over myself!! Thankfully, true friendships are resilient!!

So, from someone who has regrets and is always looking for a way to get over them - 1) always learn the lesson, 2) forgiveness is real, even forgiveness of yourself, 3) review the things that you think are regrets - because seriously - some of them are probably silly, 4) if they are a true friend - they will be your friend regardless of your words, and lastly, 5) let's get over ourselves, because like my aunty said - "don't habour regrets [as] it does no good for anyone".  ;-) 

Let me know how you go...

Yours in friendship,

Mxo

A personal creed

The one thing I have remembered from High School (along with the many things that I want to forget) is studying To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee, in particular the character Atticus Finch and the description of his daughter Scout who said he was “the same in his house as he is on the public streets.” I have never forgotten that because I decided the day I read that passage - that that was something I would try and live for the rest of my life......

I thought about Atticus today because although a fictional character in the novel To Kill A Mockingbird - his character was someone of integrity, someone who lived what he believed and was a great example to his children and community. I have never forgotten that and almost twenty five years later, I met another man like this, his name - George Albert Smith. Smith lived from 1870 to 1951 and while researching his life in preparation for teaching a group of women I learnt that he was someone, like Atticus that was "the same in his house as he was on the public streets" and someone who lived what he believed.

When he was 34, George Albert Smith made a list of resolutions that he called his "personal creed" - 11 ideals that he committed to live by. He must have achieved that and more because the inscription on his graveside reads " He understood and disseminated the teachings of Christ and was uncommonly successful in putting them into practice. He was kind, patient, wise, tolerant, and understanding. He went about doing good. He loved Utah and America, but was not provincial. He had faith, without reservation, in the need for and in the power of love. For his Church and his family he unbounded affection and served them passionately, yet his love was not limited; it included all men, regardless of race, faith, or station. To them and of them he frequently said: "We are all our Father's children".

Here are five of those resolutions which I am going to strive to live in 2012. Actually, looking at them, I think it is going to take me the rest of my life to get these right :-). I thank George Albert Smith for being such a wonderful example of how to live these....

I will:

Not seek to force people to live up to my ideals but rather love ten into doing the thing that is right.

Not knowingly wound the feelings of any, not even one who may have wronged me, but would seek to do him good and make him my friend. There is a story that on learning that someone had stolen from his buggy the buggy robe, instead of being angry, Smith responded "I wish we knew who it was, so that we could give him the blacnket also, for he much have been cold; and some food also, for he much have been hungry." I know - was he for real? The answer - yes!

Be a friend to the friendless and find joy in ministering to the needs of the poor.

Not be an enemy to any living soul. I have to admit this is going to be hard.

Overcome the tendency to selfishness and jealously and rejoice in the sucessess of all the children of my Heavenly Father.

Well, I'll let you know how I go.

Happy New Year.

Yours in friendship,

Mxo