I recently read an article by Stephanie Dowrick (http://www.stephaniedowrick.com) in a Good Health magazine called "Born to be Kind". At the time I was looking for something I could do to improve myself in the new year and liked the idea of BEING KIND and was something I could actually do....... Unfortunately heading into month three of 2012 - the motivation to be kind has not only worn off, but I have failed at it horribly! For this reason, I thought it was time to bring that article back and bump it up my 'Get Crackin M' list ;-) So for the next 21 days (in order to make it a habit ;-)) Kindness is really going begin with me - Dowrick styles - easy right? Right!ish....
Here are some of her suggestions.
Embrace yourself and your body
Dowrick suggests that we can do this by taking more care about how we regard ourselves as women and support other women to do the same. The other suggestion is that we appreciate our bodies, its health and what it allows us to experience. Who says being kind is going to be easy!?
Ban Criticism from your Relationship
Dowrick encourages us to 'ban' bad-tempered, critical comments or disparaging remarks for specific time periods. I'm going to try this from 3pm - 8:30pm - which covers the time I pick up the boys and their father comes home from work - and I reckon its going to be pretty quiet around these parts ;-), but by doing that Dowrick reports that I will be able to see a positive affect on my sense of self as well as my relationships. Some suggestions on the 'how' is to make a daily habit to notice what's right: be encouraging, and appreciative of the small things as well as the large. The most interesting one is that Dowrick suggests that we need to apologise for bad behaviour, rather than defending it.....hence, my turning a new leaf ;-)
Make Your Child (and Yourself) Likeable
Dowrick suggests we can achieve this by "teaching our children - by setting the example - to be the thoughful, delightful type of person that others want to be around. Show them how to have concern for others, to be courteous, enthusiastic, appreciative and interested. Teach our children the art of a meaningful apology and to teach our chidren that life is a precious fight that is to be celebrated every day."
Care More about Others
Dowrick suggests that we do this by being courteous - speaking kindly, showing interest and listening well. WE are encouraged to think about and take responsibily for how our words and actions, affect others. The last one is to CHOOSE to be kind and include other people instead of leaving them out.
Treat your partner as your Best Friend
Dowrick provides some things we can do to help us with our partners or other relationships we may have. 1)Deliberately cultivate a loving friendship with your partner - deliberately, sounds like making an effort...., 2) Show respect for, and an interest in each other, - for me this entails me sitting and watching endless hours of sports..., 3) validate and encourage each other every day - she says EVERY DAY - I got soo much work to do here.... and 4) talk and listen - this shouldn't be too hard given that Mr doesn't talk much.... just hope I don't fall asleep ;-) If I can do all of these things - and these habits are established - Dowrick says that they will reduce the bad times and support the good. I can do this! - can you?
Dowrick says that "when we are consistently kind to people, [our] trust and faith in [our] relationships increases, as does [our] self- esteen. This comes partly from knowing that [we] are capable of making good choices when it comes to [our] way of relating, and that [we] are capable of making amends if [we] hurt someone.... [Kindness] creates harmony between [us] and others and builds resilience and positivity."
Sooooo, as you can see there is much work to be done...... I wish us all the best in being kind to everyone. Here goes - 21 days of kindness coming up! ;-) Wish me well - because I am going to need it!!
Yours in friendship,
Mxo
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