Preceptions are a funny thing - not funny haha, the other funny....

I heard a funny story today and I had to write about it because this concept has been on my mind for some time.... A couple were going to Auckland on a trip. The husband told everyone that when they go places that they aren't familiar with - they call it an adventure.... so off they go and and in no time and without any trouble they get to their destination. The husband then turns to his wife and says "See, I'm not dumb!". And the wife looks at him and says "I know you're not dumb, you're arrogant, and ignorant, and stubborn, but you aren't dumb!" The husband pondered on this (although he didn't tell us how long, I suspect it was ages) 'preception' his wife had of him... He may have thought that his wife was dumb - only to find out that that was the ONE thing she didn't think of him ;-) Ain't love and perception grand :-)

This week, my Aunty posted this on her facebook page -  An important lesson I’m currently learning from my 8th block psychology class: “Should I worry about other people’s opinion and perspective about me? Not really because they are entitled to their own opinion, but I’m thankful for the attention they give me. Therefore, thank you for your opinion/perspective because now I know I’m a better person than you think!” I love it - perception can inform people's opinions but the reality is always going to be sweeter.

Just the other day, I was talking to someone about a trip that I am going on with my family, and they said "Gee you guys must be loaded!!" and I thought on that - and figured - that is probably the perception out there in my community - but if only people knew the things that were being done to make this possible - they would know that we are not. This goes along with the perception that people believe because Mr is a lawyer we are rolling in it ;-) It's so laughable because the first image I bring up in my mind is the car he drives and the toilet he paid a carpenter to build around a sink so its an odd shape and next to the bathroom which is the ugliest part of the house.... Just because on the outside everything looks absolutely fine.... until you know - you don't know...perceptions, especially uninformed ones - are funny (not haha funny either)!

I am a proud and loyal supporter of Piri Weepu (an All Black player). It was a no-brainer for me when I was faced with the choice of either buying Graham Henry's (Former All Black coach) book or Piri's :-) I know - a choice between the call maker (coach) or as he has been described as - Piri: the kingmaker!! Anwyay, I am reading about his build up to the world cup final and I am riveted - note to self, if all rugby books were this good - I could read games instead of having to watch them!! - and he talks about the pressure he puts on himself on to kick well on the day. He practices more than he normally does because he thinks that the Backs coach is giving him the eye and he gets the distinct impression that he better do a good job - or else... totally my words but you get the gist. The book then goes to one of the coaches for comment on this, and the Backs coach says that that may have been the perception of Piri but it as never his. In fact he goes on to say that the coaches didn't care what Piri did in the build up to the game because they already knew he was good for it!! Perceptions - is what we think of ourselves really what others think? 

Recently I was listening to people talking about a scripture about perceptions - when Paul teaches in Romans 14:10 he is teaching us all that in the final assessment, our personal discipleship (following Christ) will not be judged by friends or foes. Rather, Paul said, “We shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.” It is this day that the important question will be, “What thinks Christ of me?” Now that's a perception I will spend the rest of my life working on because it is the one that I want my reality to match that which He has of me ;-)

So the next time you think you know something about someone, or have an opinion or perception about something that is going on or is happening - step back!  Don't be caught out like I have on many occasions - being way off the mark - because perceptions are a funny thing - and not the funny haha - but the other funny!!!

Yours in friendship,

Mxo

 

Lessons from the RWC

New Zealand has just competed in a World Cup 45 day tournament for Rugby. Rugby is a 15-a-side game all centred around an oval ball. For a dummies guide to Rugby - not that you are a dummy - but rather the author is ;-) have a look at my 21st of August blog for a refresher ;-) There were 20 teams from across the planet competiting from Russia to Namibia, Argentina to Samoa and in between. The country plunged itself into the festivities and according to the media are confirmed as the bestess host country of this tournament EVER...

Anyway, love it or hate it, in New Zealand or America - it came, it saw and was conquered. Here are my lessons from the Rugby World Cup (RWC) 2011.

LESSON ONE - Get over it!
I don't particularly like Rugby. Like I have mentioned before, I was a rugby widow with small babies and it sucked. The older I get, and with the increase  of tv coverage of the sport - my middle-aged husband, whom I have been married to for 20 long rugby loving years - dominates the tv and I am subjected to games, re-runs of games, talk-shows on games, more talk shows on the rugby, seven days a week... only to have given birth to two sons, who have grown up to play and talk rugby!! So lesson number one - the RWC taught me to get over myself, and embrace it because it is something that the man and manchildren that I love - do! So I got a grip and got over myself and joined the hype ;-) and quietly between me and you - I actually enjoyed it!!

LESSON TWO - National Identity/Patriotism

One of the reasons I have had a difficulty with embracing Rugby is because of what it means to the country. It have a clear understanding that it is just a game - yet from what I have observed and by listening to commentators - both social and sports, the media - hard print and live coverage - it has been confirmed for me, that the country's well-being is heavily invested (financially, politically, economically, physically and psychologically) in how we do in Rugby. The latest tournament actually brought peoples together from this fair land in a way that a prime minister could only dream of doing. We had neighbours and strangers standing side by side willing on a single entity against the rest of the world... amazing!

LESSON THREE - Rugby is just a game - NOT

My case is highlighted by the fact that when the national team - the All Blacks lose, the domestic violence rate increases. So for me, the well-being of our menfolk is invested in a game and how well we do. To be fair I am sure that the rates for domestic violence probably spikes when we lose in the other codes - but the correlation with rugby is well documented. The day we can lose and lose graciously in our homes as well as in public - then rugby will truly be viewed for what it is - a game! This is something we can learn from the visiting teams and their supporters. How are we going to change this as a nation?

LESSON FOUR - Overcoming odds

My favourite player in the tournament was Piri Weepu. He is an example of overcoming the odds, and they were certainly stacked up against him in recent times. Firstly, he was unceremoniously dropped from the last world cup team just before the team left much to the dismay of his fans, his whanau and himself. Jo Public was unaware of the reasons - and we were not happy! When he broke his leg last year - it was with abated breath as we watched him recover, then slowly come back into his rugby with his local club, province, super 14 team and finally the All Blacks for the RWC 2011. In the semi-final Piri not only lead the empassioned haka (as he did for all the games), he had the kicking duties (should be number 10's job!), and played his own position while directing play from the backline - and all done as we are just learning - with the flu!! We won that game and Piri became a legend! Sure he played a shocker of a final - but this only goes a long way to telling the coaches - "Mate, one man shouldn't be doing everything!!"

LESSON FOUR - Redemption

The best example of this was in regards to a player called Stephen Donald.
Donald has played his rugby for my local province team for years, and the represented the Chiefs (also based locally) in a super 14/15 tournament with Australia and South Africa. He eventually made it into the All Blacks, however, his time in the black jersey was memorable for the wrong reasons, missed tackles, kicks, and calls.  In fact in his last outing against our arch rivals - Australia, Donald missed kicks costing us critical points and in fact was probably the most hated player in the country as he was blamed for that loss (remember lessons 2 and 3) - forget about the other 14 players ;-) So when we lost some key players to injury in the recent RWC tournament, Stephen Donald got the call and I would suggest the country laughed. He is known as Donald Duck to many of us because the worse thing you can get in another sport code - Cricket is a duck! and who better suited to that role as the last time he kicked he missed and we lost! So, after an unexpected injury to a key player - Donald was called on to play at 9:27pm Sunday, 23rd October in a little jersey that was obviously designed for the much smaller frame of the player he was replacing. Where I was watching - we didn't hold out much hope!! But Donald came on, with the weight of the country on him,  knowing that that same country was fractured in their support of his recall, and what does he do - he kicks a penalty square in between the uprights and won the game for New Zealand against France 8-7. And there you have it - redemption! From a zero to hero ;-)

Love it or hate it - the Rugby World Cup came, saw, and we conquered it. It brought me together with friends who are on the other side of the world, Aussie & even in Auckland as we ran a running live commentary on facebook while watching in different timezones...! It taught me some things about myself, and about the country in which I love - some things to be improved on - some things that are cool - and then other things that just 'are' the same yesterday, today and probably tomorrow, when it comes to the number one sport in the country - RUGBY.

Yours in friendship,

Mxo