Hindsight

We got asked a question the other day which has caused me some time to think about it for some time.... the question:- "What do you do now that is better than you did 10-20 years ago?" What a gift of a question right? So I put up my hand and out came some pearlers - have a think about it - what are things that you do better now than you did some time ago.... Here are my top five.

Being Married

When I first got married, I was told that the first year was the hardest - which, in my opinion has proved to be a half-truth - because the truth is that every year is hard. But to answer the question - what I do better now than I do than I did 22 years ago was accepting Mr M for what he is and to stop trying to change him. When I married him - I thought he was perfect, but gee was I surprised when he had so many things wrong with him that I believed it would take me the rest of my life to change him.... What I learnt (and I'm a slow learner so it took a while!!) is that there was plenty wrong - but with me -and in time I learnt that it was I who needed to learn to be a better wife, friend, and companion... and I found over the years that in doing so - I ended up with the perfect husband (with some annoying habits ;-).... If the husband can live with his wife one day without quarrelling or without treating anyone unkindly or without grieving the Spirit of God in any way, that is well so far; he is so far perfect. Then let him try to be the same the next day. But supposing he should fail in this his next day’s attempt, that is no reason why he should not succeed in doing so the third day. Lorenzo Snow

Expectations/Acceptance

It is not like I have lowered or restricted my expectations but what I do really well now that I didn't use to do so many years ago is to accept what I have and to keep my expectations realistic. In truth, the older I get, the less I actually want and even then the list of wants is getting smaller and smaller - more refined..... "Do not expect to become perfect at once. If you do, you will be disappointed. Be better today than you were yesterday, and be better tomorrow than you are today.” Lorenzo Snow

Patience

I have been teaching the piano to little children for a loooong time, and the one comment I get most from parents is on how 'patient' I am.....  There must be something to this, because my mother-in-law once commented on my 'patience' with the boys after watching me try and settle them when they would be crying at the same time..... I have thought about this often, and I think it could be true...... I have patience to an extent ;-) but I am almost 45 years old and it took it every minute of that to learn...."When we experience trying moments, then is the time for us to avail ourselves of that great privilege of calling upon the Lord for strength and understanding, intelligence and grace by which we can overcome the weakness of the flesh against which we have to make a continual warfare" Lorenzo Snow

Joy

I know joy now, whereas several years ago I didn't have a clue. What brought me happiness wouldn't even raise an eyebrow now - I mean it would make me happy I am sure, but having a clean house, or babies dressed in pumpkin patch is no longer ingredients to my happiness. Being with good friends, watching children laugh, or when everyone is home and asleep - that's where joy begins.... “My young friends, there is an opportunity for you to become great—just as great as you wish to be. In starting out in life you may set your hearts upon things very difficult to attain to, but possibly within your reach. In your first efforts to gratify your desires you may fail, and your continued efforts may not prove what may be termed a success. But inasmuch as your efforts were honest efforts, and inasmuch as your desires were founded in righteousness, the experience you obtain while pursuing your hearts’ desires must necessarily be profitable to you, and even your mistakes, if mistakes you make, will be turned to your advantage.” Lorenzo Snow

Writing
I have been writing for a very long time.... I remember writing stories at primary school - which must have been good because my favourite teacher told me so ;-) And, she also told my mother. I remember it was a story about clouds (I still remember the names of all the cloud formations - actually I only remember cumulus :-)).... Now I don't write about clouds but I write about other cool things - like my blog - and then some not cool things - like reports ;-) But what I know is that I write better than I did during my postgraduate degree - when my lecturer wrote on my essay - "obviously english is your second language - please come and see me" - those were the days!!

How would you answer the question - what is one thing that you do better now than you did 10 or 20 years ago?? Have a go and remember in the wise words of a great man - Lorenzo Snow - "The temptations that perhaps partially overcome us today, let them not overcome us so far tomorrow. Thus continue to be a little better day by day; and do not let your life wear away without accomplishing good to others as well as to ourselves.... Each last day or each last week should be the best that we have ever experienced, that is, we should advance ourselves a little every day, in knowledge and wisdom, and in the ability to accomplish good. As we grow older we should live nearer the Lord each following day."

Yours in friendship,

Mxo

The power of three little letters

This year at work one of my managers asked her staff to think of one word that they would use to frame their year. Everyone was encouraged to think of a word that when they were down they could think of it and it would help them pick up, or bring them to remembering this exercise about re-framing things.... It was shared with everyone on staff so that we would remember each others and provide each other support. It was an awesome way to pull all of our thoughts into one space...

I loved the idea so much I tried it again in another space and place of my life - my friends at church - and it has been awesome!! I kept the same word for both and that word is JOY .

It's only March but already it has become infectious. I find myself happier and really - more joyful. I don't know what happened or how it, all I know is that joy is a powerful combination of three letters!!

1. JOY for tyres that withstand the road works up and down one of the main roads I use to get home....

2. JOY for a job that pays the bills.....
3. JOY that my sons bring me challenges and opportunities to learn and grow!!

4. JOY that I have friends and even if I can count them all on one hand, or two at a push - they will see me through this life and into the next.... and

5. JOY that I know LOVE ;-)

What is your word for the year?

Have a great week lovelies.

Yours in friendship,

Mxo

Its time to get checked!

I had a little cry on Saturday. Our little whanau was all dressed in pink and participating in the Dove Star Walk raising money for Breast Cancer Research. I was looking at the most loved people in my universe - my brother, sister, sister-in-law, children, nieces and nephews and I thought of my mother. I think she would have been proud of us all dressed in her favourite colour and the fact that her daughter was walking!! I thought of her and the significance of what we were doing and the many people that were doing the same thing for people that they loved..... It turned out to be a great evening and one that was full of love and a determined focus to find a cure!

These are the lessons that I have learnt about breast cancer.

1) The early bird gets the worm

Early detection of breast cancer is the best. Self examinations are recommended at a certain time of the month and at breastcancer.org there is an illustrated five step method that you can follow. It also tells you what to look out for. If you haven't done a self-examination - have a go. You can save your life by having a good feel of yourself or if you don't want to - there may be someone else who can do it for you ;-)

2) Breast screening

Free breast screening for women aged 45 to 69 years is provided by the national breast screening programme, BreastScreen Aotearoa. The aim of breast screening is to find very small cancers before a lump can be found on the breast. Early treatment has the best chance of success. I have friends (sisters) whose mother had breast cancer and because of that they treat themselves to a mammogram every year at their own cost. My sister and I also do this - but we are not as vigilant as our friends - and something we need to work on. I have done it through the health system because we have family history of cancer, it takes longer but costs nothing - if that is an option for someone.

3) This is a problem

According to http://www.cancernz.org.nz/ and many other sources, breast cancer is the most common cancer in New Zealand women and is the leading cause of cancer death in women in New Zealand. Each year in New Zealand about 1900 women are diagnosed with breast cancer and about 600 die of the disease. This should serve as a timely reminder to get checking ladies ;-)

4) Amazing People

I have meet the most amazing people through my mum's battle with breast cancer - and every one of those people are fantastic! These people lifted my mother's spirits and I will always remember them with gratitidue and love for treating her with respect and genuine kindness. I went with her to her hair appointments throughout and after chemotherapy which were emotional. You don't realise how much hair means to a woman until she loses it all. The most touching episode was when my beautiful mother went to a bra fitting with her prosthetic breast. I sat with her as she cried and the lovely ladies there let us be. It was such a moving experience that I will never forget. And of course - the people of Look Good Feel Better who guided my mother around how to use makeup to give her eyebrows that had dropped out during chemo. And then, last but not least the good folk at Hospice -they really make the end soooo comfortable considering!!

5) Hope, Joy and Love
Although breast cancer is a terrible disease that many have battled and won and some have battled and lost - it is a disease of hope joy and love. The highs of hope are life altering. It defintely teaches us about anticipating the future and settling for a better tomorrow. The joy that you find being with breast cancer sufferers is contagious. Even in the deepest darkest times - there is joy to be alive, joy to be with family. But the biggest thing I know about breast cancer is that out of it comes love, whether it be a love of life or people. This is what breast cancer has taught me and I am grateful for that.

To the ladies that I know that have had this disease and have beat it - congratulations, to those that are battling - kia kaha, and to those who have lost their courageous fight - you are loved and missed every day.

Yours in friendship

Mxox