Happy Feet

Recently, while I was being driven back to pick up my car, I got to spend some time with one of my friends. She was one of the people who helped drag me back from wherever I was hurtling towards and guided me onto this path of self-discovery and recovery and I, along with Mr and our children will always be grateful for that!! Anyway, we got to talking and I was explaining where I am in life and I told her the only word I could use to describe my life now was 'happy'. As I went on and on I realised that although this word is soo inadequate - it was the only word I could use.

My life isn't perfect (obviously I would have used the word perfect instead ;-)), I have bills we can't pay, teenagers who test me daily, and a lovely husband that comes from Venus when Mars is where he should be ;-) But the difference is that when I may have had a moan that my husband was always late home, I now think - "Hang on chick!! - some husbands never come home - by either death or because they chose to be with someone else!" Being happy is a choice - make the decision to be happy!

I remember watching the movie "This is It" - the last filiming done of Michael Jackson (who I have always loved!!) What struck me was that he was always moving. It was as if his body was itself a musical instrument - that he was the music or the music was him. It has been something that I think about often and more recently in regards to happiness - like the little penguin called Mumble on Happy Feet. Instead of being able to sing, Mumble made music with his feet. We are like Mr Jackson and Mumble - we are all happy instruments and are in control of how much happy we feel, play, make, and are! Happy starts from inside. Be a happy instrument!!

I have a friend who posts really positive words on her facebook page every morning where she wishes everyone a happy day and when she closes at night - she adds more positive words. Reading her posts is like getting a daily 'fix'.  She is making other people's day even if in reality hers is not going very well at all.... We should always leave people better off than when we found them and to always remember that. Surround yourself with people who are happy because happiness is contagious.

Recently, I came across a quote from Brooke Shields who said "Don’t waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window or break down a door." This is such a good one - because although we are our own happy instruments - it takes work to keep happy!!:-) I don't see Ms Shields is saying that we should just roll over when things go bad - but rather - get up, keep moving and work it!!

Here is what I know: I am the happiest I have been for the first time in years - because I have been in the depths of sadness before. I am happy in my job because I have been unemployed and restricted in the contributions I make to my family's income. I am happy with Mr, because I know that life without him would be worse. I am happyish with my house (except the toilet, bathroom, bedrooms, carpet etc ;-)) - because I know that many people are living on the streets.... I am happy to be a mother, because sooo many people can't be. Be grateful for what you have and happiness will find you.

I could carry on and try and tell you how to be happy, I can even share with you what happiness is but in the end it comes down to you: 1) Make the choice to be happy, 2) Let happiness start from inside, 3) Surround yourself with happy people because happiness is contagious, 4) be prepared to work to be happy, and 5) Be grateful for what you have and happiness will find you.

Yours in friendship,

Mxo

Kindness Begins with.........

When I was little I was taught a song called "Kindness Begins with Me". It has been taught to children across the world in my faith for generations past, present and to come. Its tune is catchy, the words - simple "I want to be kind to everyone for that is right you see, so I say to myself remember this, kindness begins with me".... and the message long lasting.

I recently read an article by Stephanie Dowrick (http://www.stephaniedowrick.com) in a Good Health magazine called "Born to be Kind". At the time I was looking for something I could do to improve myself in the new year and liked the idea of BEING KIND and was something I could actually do....... Unfortunately heading into month three of 2012 - the motivation to be kind has not only worn off, but I have failed at it horribly! For this reason, I thought it was time to bring that article back and bump it up my 'Get Crackin M' list ;-) So for the next 21 days (in order to make it a habit ;-)) Kindness is really going begin with me - Dowrick styles - easy right? Right!ish....

Here are some of her suggestions.

Embrace yourself and your body
Dowrick suggests that we can do this by taking more care about how we regard ourselves as women and support other women to do the same. The other suggestion is that we appreciate our bodies, its health and what it allows us to experience. Who says being kind is going to be easy!?

Ban Criticism from your Relationship
Dowrick encourages us to 'ban' bad-tempered, critical comments or disparaging remarks for specific time periods. I'm going to try this from 3pm - 8:30pm - which covers the time I pick up the boys and their father comes home from work - and I reckon its going to be pretty quiet around these parts ;-), but by doing that Dowrick reports that I will be able to see a positive affect on my sense of self as well as my relationships. Some suggestions on the 'how' is to make a daily habit to notice what's right: be encouraging, and appreciative of the small things as well as the large. The most interesting one is that Dowrick suggests that we need to apologise for bad behaviour, rather than defending it.....hence, my turning a new leaf ;-)

Make Your Child (and Yourself) Likeable
Dowrick suggests we can achieve this by "teaching our children - by setting the example - to be the thoughful, delightful type of person that others want to be around. Show them how to have concern for others, to be courteous, enthusiastic, appreciative and interested. Teach our children the art of a meaningful apology and to teach our chidren that life is a precious fight that is to be celebrated every day."

Care More about Others
Dowrick suggests that we do this by being courteous - speaking kindly, showing interest and listening well. WE are encouraged to think about and take responsibily for how our words and actions, affect others. The last one is to CHOOSE to be kind and include other people instead of leaving them out.

Treat your partner as your Best Friend
Dowrick provides some things we can do to help us with our partners or other relationships we may have. 1)Deliberately cultivate a loving friendship with your partner - deliberately, sounds like making an effort...., 2) Show respect for, and an interest in each other, - for me this entails me sitting and watching endless hours of sports..., 3) validate and encourage each other every day - she says EVERY DAY - I got soo much work to do here.... and 4) talk and listen - this shouldn't be too hard given that Mr doesn't talk much.... just hope I don't fall asleep ;-) If I can do all of these things - and these habits are established -  Dowrick says that they will reduce the bad times and support the good. I can do this! - can you?

 Dowrick says that "when we are consistently kind to people, [our] trust and faith in [our] relationships increases, as does [our] self- esteen. This comes partly from knowing that [we] are capable of making good choices when it comes to [our] way of relating, and that [we] are capable of making amends if [we] hurt someone.... [Kindness] creates harmony between [us] and others and builds resilience and positivity."

Sooooo, as you can see there is much work to be done...... I wish us all the best in being kind to everyone. Here goes - 21 days of kindness coming up! ;-) Wish me well - because I am going to need it!!

Yours in friendship,

Mxo