Just another day............ NOT!

I have heard a few times in my life people saying that Christmas is just another day..... and they don't really get into it.... Today, I was told that because  I was part of the "people who love Christmas" I didn't understand.... well, actually I do. I know that Christmas is commercialised beyond recognition, but here is what I have learnt about Christmas and why I get over myself and get into it!!
 

I want to thank my beautiful mother for instilling me the christmas spirit and regardless of her desperate situation - Christmas was never cancelled and it was never just another day..... Here was a single mother with nothing yet all I remember is the joy we got from putting up our tree, the love of the decorations (which I saw for the first time in a long time as an adult - and cannot imagine what we saw in them ;-)), and the Christmas story. It was never about presents (although I have to admit - I have never quite grasped this concept ;-) even my sons who think they are near to homeless will be getting something ;-)), but always about family and being together with good food. When she got a new tree it was a family decision and quite a large financial investment for her yet it was something that she valued and we learnt from that. The first Monday of December the tree would go up and we would decorate it after reading the Christmas story. The children would enact it. We had a lot of fun and love was abound!

It wasn't always that easy for her though. On the 20th of December 1983, my mother's sister, her husband, a family friend/relative and their six children were returning home after doing some shopping. A truck, according to the police reports, we later heard turned the corner and jack-knived into the path of their van. That accident killed my aunty, her husband, their only daughter (my cousin), a son (my cousin) and their friend/cousin and left their four reamining children orphaned and in hospital spread across northland. I remember vividly the instant my mother was told of the accident and will never forget that day. The pain, I am sure, my cousins feel every day and not just at Christmas time but has that been enough to cancel Christmas? No. I want to wish my cousins a very Merry Christmas and thank them for being an example of living through the worst day of their lives and yet turning out to be good people. I love them.

Some years ago, I ended up at the back of an ambulance and in hospital. It turned out after about two days in there that my appendix were moments away from bursting and already infected..... I was rushed into theatre for an operation on christmas eve and spent christmas day on morphine ;-) The children quickly learnt that Santa was actually not very well that year and after she got out of hospital would visit them.... I remember wrapping presents in pain because Santa's husband had NO idea ;-) Yip, I think that year the boys realised who Santa really was ;-) They were seven. I learnt that year that Christmas was about being grateful for good health and family and presents and even Santa was waaaaaay over-rated!! 

This year there are no presents under our tree. The boys think they are the ONLY ones in the world that are not getting presents this year! One of them is taking it into his stride and knows that things will turn around - he hopes ;-) The other one is struggling with the concept and has offered to go without food so he can see something go under the tree with his name on it ;-) I am grateful for their cousin who said that he was told that they wouldn't be having christmas presents this year and when he asked his mother for about the millioneth time - what they were getting for christmas - she said "vinyl & carpet" (for their beautifully renovated kitchen and dining room) ;-) I thank my sister-in-law for teaching my children that Christmas is about priorities and even though there are no presents this year - we are still having Christmas!

So, for me, when I hear people say it is just another day I wish them alittle bit of what I have. I wish them the spirit of giving and sharing, of laughter and family. It is one day when we should release ourselves from worldy troubles and remember the birth of the Saviour and how blessed our lives are for it. And however we chose to do it - either with new vinyl under our feet or a $2 secret santa gift - then so be it.

Whatever you do, please try and make it more than just another day - make it an awesome day of remembering. Enjoy it, even if you have to 'fake it 'til you make it' for the children's sake..... so that when they grow up to be my age - they know that christmas day is sooooooooo not like any other day of the year!!

Yours in friendship,

Mxo

Having a Sense of Humour

I had to think twice about this entry - but have decided to go for it regardless. My 15 1/2 old dog, Simba went into renal failure last week and has been admitted to the vet (where she has been all weekend)... so talking about being happy is tinged with a bit of sadness this entry - but I guess it’s times like this, where the possession of a sense of humour is going to come in handy...

I want to dedicate this blog to my sister who helped me remember this week how good it is to laugh…

Here are some lessons that having a sense of humour has taught me.

LESSON ONE - Not everyone thinks you are funny.
I am half Samoan and I believe I am genetically geared to be hilarious. I have never met one Samoan that is not funny, and therefore have come to the conclusion that 90% (the drop by 10% to cover my lack of real data) of Samoans are funny! The only trouble is that not everyone thinks I am funny. Potentially this can break bridges and relationships before they even start. So lesson one is simple - having a sense of humour (either real or imagined ;-)) comes with a responsibility to tailor it to the people around you, and to only bring out the 'big guns (laugh out loud stories)' with people that really know, love and 'get' you.

LESSON TWO - The Act of Smiling ≠ Face & Chin Lift :-)
I remember when my sister and I were younger, one of us had read an article about achieving the same results as you would from a chin and face lift without surgery but by doing a smiling exercise. It started with placing your hands on your thighs, and stretching your necks up and slightly forward stretching your neck muscles. Make the biggest smile (teeth bearing) at the same time while pointing your chin slightly forward. You had to do this exercise then hold it for ten or so seconds and repeat it ten or so times every day..... We tried once, during a tea break in a job we had - doing these exercises which always ended up in fits of laughter watching the people going by who couldn't help but have repeat glances to make sure we were really doing what they thought we were doing....Lesson Two: Growing old is going to happen - get over it!! ;-)

LESSON THREE - Laughing tears are healing
Recently my sister and I spent part of a rare afternoon together. While we were returning back to work - she started recalling her son's speech and that's where the laughter tears began. Don't get me wrong - it would have been a great talk but that afternoon it turned into waves of side-splitting laughing which ended in tears of laughter. When I try and recall what was actually funny - I can't and have a sneaky suspicion it wasn't really funny - but it doesn't matter. In those beautiful precious moments - nothing else mattered, there was no other reality besides two sisters sharing laughter tears and it was healing. It transcended the stresses of our lives - hers as a working single mother, and mine as the grieving owner of a dying dog - totally unrelated events yet healed in those blissful moments.

LESSON FOUR - Laughter is the best medicine

I remember watching the movie Patch Adams where Robin Williams played the main character who used laughter as medicine alongside other sources. I remember being touched by Dr Adam's approach to the treatment of his patients. It was great to see that according to the official Gesundheit Institute website http://patchadams.org/ that a building dedicated to the real Patch Adam’s kind of work has started. The model of this organisation is organised around five principles one of which is that care is infused with fun and play. Truly inspirational.

LESSON FIVE - Never Underestimate a Smile

The Director of a show that I was in at highschool taught us that there were three types of smiles when performing that I have never forgotten. Smile one, was a normal smile with lips curled and mouth closed. Smile two (as pictured) was smile one with your lips opened to show some teeth. Smile three was a full on smile with your mouth slightly open, and a look of happiness and enjoyment to be wherever we were. Smiling on demand is not easy, especially while singing or dancing and especially when you weren't happy yourself but the impact of that simple act on the audience was immeasurable. I remember starting with a smile one and ending with smile two just by watching the reactions of the children in the front rows, or smiling because I wanted to while looking out and seeing people I cared about.... You can never underestimate the power of the smile - never - it is contagious and priceless.

So I head into another week, knowing that my beloved dog will not make it to the end of the month – and the song that comes to mind offer up words that I'm going to rely on.. I leave them with you..

Smile though your heart is aching

Smile, even though it's breaking

When there are clouds in the sky

You'll get by...If you smile

With your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile if you'll just...

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just...smile

Yours in friendship,

Mxo