Time Out For Women (Auckland 2013)

I kid you not, there was a time not long ago that I couldn't think of anything worse than sitting in a room with 1499 other LDS women..... and my oh my how times have changed!!

I loved Time Out For Women. It irks me a bit that we have to wait for such a massive event to get a whole bunch of women together - because we should do it more often, but other than that - it was great! I learnt so much, and what I already knew was strengthened. I cried heaps, and tried my hardest but failing time and time again - not to cry! What I loved the most is that I was a woman among so many more women just like me - feeling the same as me!

Here's what I learnt.

EVERYONE HAS PROBLEMS

A friend of mine, in frustration said, that "if I hear another person say how great their life is, how awesome her husband is, and that the children are near perfect and so on - I am going to scream"..... My response - everyone has problems. You see, statistically, it was more likely that the sisters that she overheard were either very very positive about their realities or one of the exceptions or probably more the truth - lying ;-) or at least embellishing the truth. In fact, as LDS, we probably face more challenges than the average, because he who shall not be named is having to work over time!! No one has a perfect life - impossible!!

NEGATIVITY BEGETS NEGATIVITY

I learnt that to breed positivity - you need to put that out there. I have a friend who believes that once you put it out into the universe it will happen ;-) I'm pretty sure the statistics are ths same as my previous lesson - but it feels good. By putting good thoughts, positive thoughts out there, something happens inside that turns you around. I don't know how it works but it does.... 

ENDURANCE IS THE KEY

I learnt or rather was reminded that this journey in life is not a race because its length is already pre-determined. Going faster isn't going to get me to the end any quicker.... so its enduring to the end and with integrity, dignity and joy that is the key. It's like a car advertisement I have seen which says "The Journey is the Destination".... interesting isn't it...??

PERFECTION IS ME....NOT
I learnt today that praying is not for the perfect, but for those who are striving to be perfect, and partaking of the sacrament is not for perfected saints but rather for people who are willing to come unto Christ in perfection. What a revelation or rather a remembering.... and goes with a quote I read recently from Russ Hill that "churches are not museums or catwalks for the perfected Saints, but rather labs for sinners" :-)

MY FAVOURITE 2 QUOTES (there were heaps more!!):

“Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He can deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, and pour out peace.”    Ezra Taft Benson

“The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ would take the slums out of people, and then they would take themselves out of the slums. The world would mould men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behaviour, but Christ can change human nature.” Ezra Taft Benson

I am grateful that I was able to join with so many women in hearing messages of hope, love, and "let's get better and keep improving and learning" also with the encouragement to everyone gathered that we all can do it and "we got this!!"

Have a great week

Yours in friendship,

Mxo

Goodbye 2011

I love this time of the year! I'm a great self reflector at the best of times, but getting ready for a new year is the perfect opportunity to review more than normal and without feeling bad about it.....

Here are my top five pieces of advice/emails/words/thoughts that I have received in 2011. Thank you to the wonderful people in my life that provided me with these words of love. They certainly helped me at the time and will be called on to help me navigate another 365 days on this planet :-) If you find something helpful for you - that is certainly a bonus!!

Step away from the chocolate
In my journal I have recorded the following words: "She told me to go home - like NOW, ring and make an appointment with *** and organised that first. She told me to go home, change the sheets on my bed and put the electric blanket on or hot water bottle and hop in there and SLEEP. She aslo advised me to find somthing to do like - write or she even suggested that I go to the temple (and this is someone not of my faith...) she advised me NOT to go home and pig out on chocolate and that because it will only make me feel sick......" Advising me not to go home and eat chocolate - what woman tells another woman to step away from the chocolate? A true friend, that's who....... 

One day at a time
In a question "how am I going to get through another day?" the reply was simple - "take one day at a time". This from someone that I trust implicitly and to make it even better - someone who had themselves, made it through some dark times in their own life....

Time Out for Women
At Time Out for Women Conference this year, Laurel Christensen presented some thoughts based on the scripture Mathew 7:9 which reads "... what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?" Her message was that if we want or need something, having prayed for it and specific in our requests, and done everything we can do ourselves to make something happen - then it is unlikely we will be given a 'stone'. She taught that in order for this principle to work, we had to do the following; 1) pray in faith, 2) think with faith and 3) live with faith. The conference was life-changing!

Birthday wishes
This year both of my sons gave me a card which was lovely.... but the words inside were priceless. For mums out there raising sons - you will know that emotions and actual words are an economy that boys don't spend often ;-) so when they wrote some thoughts - I was brought to tears.... In one card it read "On this great day mum I'd like to say happy birthday. When I saw this card I thought it was perfect because I wouldn't have to write anything because it already said what needed to be said. But just in case I'll tell you how much I love you which would be to heaven and back, although you may not hear me say it to you Mum, just know thats how I feel inside. I hope I'm not too much of a pain mum..." Isn't that beautiful, but what was so cool and reminded me that my blood does run through my babies - he added "....and I hope you get a job soon....." :-) Thank you babies xx

Quotes
There were so many so which ones made the cut?? Here are my top picks of the many that I have collected this year from unknown - "Now is the time, this is the place, you are the one", a prayer given by Pastor Joe Wright in the Kansas House Representatives on Janurary 23rd 1996 (check with Mr Google and he will help you), from anonymous "May you always have: enough happiness to keep you sweet, enough trials to keep you strong, enough success to keep you eager, enough faith to give you courage and enough determination to make each day a good one.",  and one from Marilyn Munroe "I believe that everything happens for a reason; people change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together....."I know, Marilyn Munroe - who would've know?

But by far - my favourite from the movie New Year's Eve Movie by the character played by Hillary Swank at a press conference when the giant ball that falls every year at New York's Time Square becomes stuck "[The ball is] suspended there to remind us before we pop the champagne and celebrate the New Year, to stop and reflect on the year that has gone by. To remember both our triumphs and our missteps - our promises made, and broken. The times we opened ourselves up to great adventures - or closed ourselves down, for fear of getting hurt. Because that's what New Year's is all about: getting another chance. A chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more. And stop worrying about 'what if' and start embracing what would be. So when that ball drops at midnight - and it will drop - let's remember to be nice to each other, kind to each other. And not just tonight but all year long."

Happy New Year!!

Yours in friendship

Mxo

Pray, Think and Living with Faith

Two weeks ago I was reminded about the importance of faith in my life.  I was at a Time Out For Women and listening to Laurel Christensen and  heard about how she had prayed, thought and lived with faith and I was touched.

I have always had faith, but I became lost in a world where it was encouraged to do things for yourself and to in some ways rely on your own ability to get you through. This happens to the point where you can actually start to believe that you don't need anything else, and even in the smallest chance you did - someone was going to be able to read your mind or heart or both and provide the help you so desperately needed....

Well, did I get a HUGE wake up call when my body told me that it had other plans for me and it actually spoke so loud that this intellectual smart woman took notice and pressed the great big imaginary button that was on her forehead that said 'Pause' and when I did - I knew immediately that I had a lot of work to do.....

Then came the reminder about 'faith' and here I am. I am heading into week three of praying, thinking and living with Faith and this is what I have found so far.

1) Happiness
I don't know what it is and can't really explain it but there has been an absence of happiness in my life for sometime. Don't get me wrong, I have laughed and had some wonderful experiences - but I wake up in the morning and I am happy.

2) Fear
I am scared of the future in terms of I really have no idea where I am going to go - but it is a fear that I can overcome because I am in control of where I go next. It is the kind of fear that you know something is going to happen, its big, its good for you, and you have never done it before but still alittle nervous... especially when you know that that the next thing to do is to jump. So here I am all 40+ of me at the precipice of what I believe is something spectacular and just for me.

3) Joy
When talking to someone during the last five or six weeks, I mentioned the word joy and how I had no joy anymore.... I am not sure why I picked those words but the word joy was used as a desciption of the place inside that lights you up... anyway, I am experiencing joy for the first time in a long time. The joy comes when I am in the car with my boys and they are rattling on about their rugby game, and joy resonates with me when I have dropped the boys off and the bell has not gone for their first class ;-) Joy has come to me through being a mother ;-) Instead of doing my motherly duties like a checklist that spanned pages and pages - I am being a mother.....

4) Excitement
I am scared but I am excited. I have literally put my life into someone else's hands and I am being guided. I have prayed about my future, after thinking and pondering my options which has lead me to be totally excited to be living with faith.

5) To be
Last week I taught a lesson based on a talk called What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be given by Lynn Robbins and this is what he teaches: "Many of us create to do lists to remind us of things we want to accomplish. But people rarely have to be lists. Why? To do’s are activities or events that can be checked off the list when done. To be, however, is never done. You can’t earn checkmarks with to be’s. [I can drop my children off to school everyday, which is a to do. But being a good mother is not an event; it needs to be part of my nature—my character, or who I am.]...Because be begets do and is the motive behind do, teaching be will improve behavior more effectively than focusing on do will improve behavior.

So out goes my 'to do' list and in comes my 'to be' list and I think I am on my way...

How are you doing or rather being? Try praying, thinking and living with faith.

Yours in friendship,

Mxox

Time Out For Women

I was part of almost 1500 LDS women who met at the Aotea Centre in Auckland on Saturday, 30th July from 9am - 4pm. I hadn't originally intended to go but count my lucky stars that I did.

The theme for the day was to "Choose to Become", ultimately taken from Mark 9:23 where is says "all things are possible to Him that believeth"

I can not put into words how much I enjoyed the day or mesaure the impact of what I heard, as my 'becoming' has not yet been realised - but I can report that I am on my way.

The conference came at the end of some life-changing decisions that I

have made and the timing can only be described as a 'divine intervention'. It was one day - but the lessons I learnt will last forever.

LESSON ONE - I am worth it.

The first speaker's name was Laurel Christensen who has is my new most favourite person. She spoke of some trials and challenges that she has overcome and some goals that she set and achieved which on their own would have been inspiring, however what she taught me is that I am worth it. I am good enough to ask Heavenly Father in faith for the things that I need and want. So often we ask for things or desire things for everyone else but ourselves - but Laurel reminded me that I need to ask for things for myself and to take care of me.

LESSON TWO - Don't be the one person standing in your way

One of the best quotes for the day had to be "don't be the one person standing in your way" which was such great advice to myself. We often put barriers in our own way, by either thinking we can't do something, or being scared to try something new .... The life changes I have made , have opened up the doors for me to take charge of my life, and I am scared about what the future holds, but I am going to be okay because I am determined NOT to be the person standing in my own way to "becoming" anything I want to be.

LESSON THREE - Back to the Basics

The next speaker was Virginia Pearce who spoke about mothers. If you are a regular of mine - you know what I could have done while this topic was being taught - but I was okay. In fact, something that she said about doing the basics - like praying and reading our scriptures - reminded me about my mother as this was her favourite saying... and looks like she wasn't the only one who owned it ;-)

LESSON FOUR - Aligning our lives to Lord's vision of us

Virginia also taught that we should align our lives to the Lord's vision for ourselves. Since that day, I have thought about this often and after 40+ years it is something that I am prepared to do. Don't get me wrong - I have planned my life and asked for guidance before - its just that I have been more of an independant person. The difference this time is that I am going to pray over some options that I have sorted and am going to leave the direction that my life and the lives of my children will take, at the bottom of a prayer. I am unsure of what will happen, but I am ready - watch this space.

LESSON FIVE
"There were so many more lessons that I could have chosen but I have to end with quite possibly the most profound statements made that were so relevant to what I am going through - I actually felt that the speakers could have been sitting across from me in a one on one interview.... QUOTE ONE "if it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts. Certinaly don't give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. Cast not away therefore your confidence. Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you". Jeffrey R. Holland and from Eleanor Roosevelt  QUOTE TWO "you gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along'. You must do the thing you think you cannot do..."

So I came away with so much more than I had taken in and with my new sense of determination and motivation - I believe that I am at the start of a wonderful journey.

Yours in friendship,

Mxox