Career advice....

I have always wanted to be the guest speaker at a graduation ceremony - ALWAYS - but I have never seemed to reach the level high enough for a gathering group of students and their teachers to care aout what I have to say ;-) So as they say - those who can - do, and those who can't - blog ;-)

Anyway, last week I had the privilege of watching a friend of mine (since highschool) graduate with her degree in Midwivery. I am soooo proud of her achievement and know that she has been rewarded for all of her hard work with a qualification that will now set her up for life. She has something now that can, if she chooses, see her practicing a skill anywhere in the world where babies are being born ;-)

There are many things that I am going to remember - 1)she looked fabulous in a a friend's korowai, 2)her ceremony was the first of its kind on her school campus - so it was a pretty big deal, 3) I was there not only with her parents and her daughter, but with four others - all of whom I have known for almost 30 years!!, and 4) the graduation speech from the guest speaker Te Anga Nathan (General Manager of News and Current Affairs, Maori Telelvision).

Nathan was asked to provide some career advice to the graduates and it was very good - good enough for me to share with you - and that's something - because as you can imagine I have enough advice for plenty of s put together ;-) I'm not sure if Nathan  was aware that quotes are taken from graduation speeches - especially as the people who give them are always as the peak of their profession/career and idustry.... but he did a great job and totally quotable ;-)

Anyway, the three tips he wanted the graduates to know in order to cope out there in the big wide world were 1) Follow your passion, 2) Know the rules of engagement and 3) Have humility.

Follow your Passion

The first one is pretty self explanatory - I mean, if you have a passion then go for it. Don't let anything stop you from doing it..... Nathan shared a well known quote that if you "find a job you love then you never have to work a day in your life" which is sooo true. I am evidence of that - when I am in the zone running a holiday programme with a friend of mine, its like playtime every day... and I wish I could do that all the time. Not only that, I have sat around countless tables with friends in the last three weeks talking about opportunities that can be started so that they can be free of jobs that no one liked doing things they loved and earning enough to raise a family. Find your passion.

Know the Rules of Engagement

Nathan was telling the graduates that they needed to know the rules of their job, to understand the policies and rules of their trade and industry. He suggested that it was good to push boundaries as long as you did it for the benefit of your organisation and not for your own gain. He used his own experience and told the story about the time when the family of Anthony Ratahi who was shot dead by the police in Taranaki, came to Maori Television for help. In particular, was their disgust in the way that their father was killed which was by a bullet through the eye. In their opinion, the whanau believed that there were other ways to shoot someone to stop them, without killing them.

The whanau wanted the tūpāpaku (body) to be shown on television which not only pushed the boundaries of tikanga, but also the The Broadcasting Act 1989 section 1 which is that "every broadcaster [is] to be responsible for maintaining in programmes and their presentation, standards which are consistent with a) The observance of good taste and decency." As the General Manager of News and Current Affairs, aware of the rules of engagement within his industry (the Broadcasting Act), Nathan made the call to push the boundaries and aired the report.

Instead of the complaints that were expected, but deemed a consequence worth taking, Native Affairs when on to win the 2011 Aotearoa Film and Television Awards (AFTA) for best current affairs series.

Have Humility

Nathan spoke of his own humble beginnings starting with his father who was a coal miner in Huntly, and my favourite quote was how he shared with the graduates that his father "fed our family on the width of a 'banjo' shovel" . What a powerful statement! Nathan warned the graduates, based on his own experience which he shared, that "when you think you are at the top of your game - remember to be humble." He followed this with some advice that "losing your reputation is easier than gaining respect of your peers."

And that was it - a very fine graduation speech - and the reason I now know why I have not had the invitation to speak at a graduation - I have to keep learning!!

Have a great week and congratulations for all the things you are achieving....

Yours in friendship,

Mxo

The Blue Line

I don't really like police people. I'm not sure why this is, because if I was ever in trouble - they are the first people that I would call..... So I had a rethink and its not the police in general - its the people that make up the police force. But what do I really know though - since I have NEVER been in trouble and despite the odd speeding ticket - oh hang on - now I remember!!!

Anyway, my friend Mandy is training to be a police person. I think she will be great!! When she does become a policewoman - she will then boost my friends (or people I know and like) that work the blue line to a total of four ;-). One of these people that I like is my cousin who is a sergeant, married and a father of four.... what a life!! He is doing a great job and we are proud of him and his awesome wife! He shares some really great stories and lessons that he learns during his work. I've asked him if I can use them and he has allowed me to do that. I have taken out his name and references that might connect him to these stories ;-)

 I dedicate this blog to my friend Mandy who is an inspiration to us all that if you put your mind to something - you can do anything you want - and there are no excuses....

HOUDINI
"Picked up this drunk as dude today.. Only word i could get out of him was "yeh". dude was smashed.. So anywayz took him bak to the station n whilst searching him, discovered his pants was on backwardz.. I thort that was a bit strange. I told him to remove his belt.. The numpty just stood there staring at his belt.. he Couldnt find his buckle.. Cause his belt was actuali buckled up backwards as well.. I guess thts the reason he had peed himself.. Hahaha too funi.. He some kinda drunk houdini.."

HALLOWEEN
"My boyz are runin rownd the view scarin tha locals.. Im drivn round ***** doin the same.. Except i dnt hv a costume....im makin every day halloween. Hahaha.."

BLACK OPS for REALZ
"Had firearms training today.. One of the perks of the job.... 10 outa 10 wit the glock.....10 outa 10 wit the m4 bushmaster (rifle) Yeyah.. Beats black ops n e day.."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
"Spent my morning sorting out other peoples dramaz.. Brother and sister scrapping over who has to clean the house.. Sister rang the cops.. So i turned up. Told them to stop fighting and called mum hme frm work to sort her kids out.. Oh yeh and the kidz are in there mid twenties.. Hapi birthdae to me..yay..hahaha"

WHANAU 

"Heres a "better work story" Bout a month ago at wrk driving down the main street of ****, saw a couple of guys fighting in the middle of the road.. Jumped out n grabbed the guy who lukd lik he had the upper hand.. Dude turned n straight punched me right in the face..cheeky fula. so i pinned him against my car, thats whn six of his drunk agro mates surounded me. Back up was still 10 mins away.... Things were bout to get really messy. Thn a dude stepped up outta the crowd a says "hey ur ****, i remember u frm ****, do u need a hand" the agro dudes were tryn to push the cuzzy outa the way.. Gav me just enuff time to cuff my boy n turn to deal wit the crowd. shot cuzzy u savd my bacon.. I thnk he was one of the "*****" frm *****..lik the wise six60 said "dont forget your roots my friend, dont forget your family"... So true.. No mattr what, family always got ur bak.."

 

Cousin - you are a legend!! Mandy - wishing you all the best in reaching your aspirations! You are amazing!!

 

Yours in friendship,

 

Mxo

The View

The other day I was driving my son to his touch rugby practice and as I was driving along the familiar roads, I said to him - "Son, I have lived here practically all of my life", to which he replied "So have I" ;-) I smiled and had a bit of a chuckle and thought - you are right son! You see my son is the 4th generation child of my family to live here in what people call - The View or more recently - The Village.

Besides a short stint of living in another area of town, I have been here since I was a child. Until recently, I was kind of embarrased to live at the same address as I have done most of my life because I had never left. I have friends that I have grown up who live in the United States, Australia and even Hong Kong - yet here I am - still in the View.

Now, I have realised - that I can't imagine it any other way. My sons haven't been disadvantaged in any way. We live in a relatively crime free area and have never been subjected to gangs, drugs, alcohol, or any other substance abuse, tagging, robberies, fights and so on. Don't get me wrong - we aren't living in heaven - we still have late nighters, the random druggy and gangsta, and our share of domestics and so on - but my sons have never been exposed as much because of where we live. In fact, my children, I am 100% certain, would be welcome in the homes to my left and right - maybe not across the road (because of their scary dogs and acquaintances) - but everywhere else. Surely - that is not a disadvantage...

So it got me thinking - for a small place like this - what are the lessons that I have learnt from the View?

LESSON ONE - It takes a village to raise a family
I remember this African saying being turned into a book written by Hillary Clinton and discussed on Oprah some years ago. It always stuck with me because that's what I feel about the 'village' that I live in. I think about all the of the people that I grew up with and around - many of whom have now passed on, and some who are still here, and I remember the lessons they taught. As a solo parent, my mother needed support and many of the people who live in this community were there for her. They supported her to raise her family and I am grateful for that.

LESSON TWO - Chinese Whispers
One of the challenges in a small community is something like the game of chinese whispers. I guess people would call it gossip and being busy bodies - which is people thinking they know other people's business, but like the game of chinese whispers - often end up being totatlly wrong. So I've learnt from this and have tried very hard to know no one else's business but my own and it has kept me free from rumour, gossip and innuendo - actually I don't know if it has, but because I don't talk to other people about other people - I am happily oblivious. I have achieved this in some way by having my children educated outside of the View so they have friends both close and afar, and by seeking employment outside of where I live. This has helped to not only broaden my view but also to keep busy enough not to have enough time to be a busy body  ;-)

LESSON THREE - Whanau
I have learnt that whanau (family) is actually not only blood relatives. I grew up calling people that have no bloodlines to me - Aunty and Uncle. I still do it today and it feels normal. My neighbours have two little children and do you know what they call me and Maurice? They call us Aunty and Uncle. This makes me smile because we are not related at all and yet before their father (little Raha) was born - I was and still call his  grandmother - Aunty Emma. I love my View whanau (many of whom are my dearest friends, younger and older - it doesn't matter). In fact I know almost all of the people in the View by name (and if not by name by parent or grandparent ;-)) and like my sister says - she would have no problem asking anyone of them if she could use their toilet ;-) Not very scientific but I think you get the gist - we are whanau after all....

LESSON FOUR - History
My grandparents left their home in the Winterless north to come to the View - which at the time was peat and swamp land. Alongside many others, they raised their families as labour missionaries, while building from scratch the wonderful landmark buildings, and a community that exists even 53 years later. My Nanna and Grandad owned one of the first houses here and raised my Aunty and Uncles here in the View. Even though we are only talking about a relatively short span of time (53 years) in the bigger sense of things - it is 53 years of my history - which makes the View part of me, and I love it.

LESSON FIVE - Change
I was discussing some changes that are coming up with my sons and they couldn't understand why. I thought that was interesting because I know what they mean. They have been used to being with the same people all their lives and now there are about to be some shifts. I explained to them that the only thing constant everywhere is change and the View is no different. All we can do, and is something I have learnt from living in the same place for the best part of the last 35 years - is to accept the change, work with it, let it settle and move on because if there is one thing for certain - it is change.....

I thank the people from the View, past and present, that have had a profound influence on my life, and who  I have loved and they me. The lessons that I have learnt have made me the person that I am today - and in some ways - probably in many ways - are having that same, although Maraeaized, influence on my children - even, four generations later ;-)

Yours in friendship,

Mxo