Go, Son, Go!!!!

I love my sons and yes, I have to admit - that when they play sports I am alittle loud at times. In my defence, it is always, in support of the instructions the coach has given... So when my son asked if it was alright if his father went to a Touch final instead of me it made me think...

The first time this particular son asked me to stop 'shouting' at him was when he was playing basketball at the ripe old age of ten. What he called shouting I called "getting his intention to remind him of how to play", like reminding him to "put your arms up son", "get the ball son!!" or "don't let him get your ball son!!" and always with a bit of "way to go son!!" and "go, son, go!!" I couldn't believe that out of all the parents, the only voice he heard was mine. I wish I could say that it was the only voice that mattered, but apparently it was the very one that wounded him. He did not find then, or recently, any of it to be motivating or otherwise.

So yesterday, we are preparing to go to my sons' first Rugby game since they were 5 years old, and I am more than excited. My son turns and says "Mum, have you read the Code of Conduct for Parents and Supporters yet?", "The what?" I ask. He then goes and grabs this document he has been leaving around for his number one supporter to read and obviously hadn't picked up, and..... ohmigosh what a timely document his High School has released.

Here are my top five picks (there must be some excited parents at this High School because there are ELEVEN considerations) :-).

MY CODE OF CONDUCT PICK ONE
Being part of a team is a commitment; assist your son to live up to his commitments, Do not accept your son letting his team mates and coaches down.

This is a great one for teaching children the importance of being in a team. It is something my husband and I feel very strongly about, and so pleased that our sons are learning this lesson first hand. What an awesome High School that encourages parents to teach this!

MY CODE OF CONDUCT PICK TWO
Show appreciation for the people who make it possible for your son to play sport. They are invariably volunteers and are involved because they enjoy the game.

This is a lesson that I am still learning.My husband reminds me all the time that their coach is just a parent like us and not the All Black or All White (last year) coach ;-)"Yes" he tells me "You are right - but would you just keep quiet!!" :-)

MY CODE OF CONDUCT PICK THREE

Watch your son play whenever possible.

Nothing is more satisfying than watching your children play anything. We have friends who run themselves raggard on Saturday mornings to get to all if not most of their children's games. I thank them for their example to me. Our children are worth the investment of our time.

MY CODE OF CONDUCT PICK FOUR

Remember your son is playing sport for his reasons not yours

I love it and thank the High School for reminding many parents of this!! For me it is important for my sons to learn how to be part of a team - because in the big corporate world, team work is a skill that many people struggle with. Playing team sports helps bridge that gap, and provides years of experience without having to go to uni for one day. This is hilarious because I just asked my son why he was playing Rugby – and his answer simply was "because Soccer is boring".

MY CODE OF CONDUCT PICK FIVE

Sport is about having a positive attitude. You can assist in setting a postive tone and help to make sport an enjoyable experience

This is a skill that as parents we need to learn and learn well - because I have been with children who have felt totally destroyed by their parents commentary and made a promise to myself never to do that to my sons... and it is pretty hard after some games ;-)Be positive and make it a good experience otherwise they will never want to 'try' again.

I congratulated myself after the tournament yesterday because I had kept most of the code of conduct. My son got the first try in the first game - and I did cheer him on then beeped our truck horn for added measure! ;-) Luckily my son heard the horn and was okay with that….. but he didn’t hear his prideful mother yelling at the top of her lungs "Go, Son, Go!!!"

Yours in friendship

Mxox