Dear daughter-in-law

After sharing a conversation at a wedding reception with a mother of married sons - it re-ignited my criteria for what I want in a daughter-in-law. My friend advised me that all my husband and I can do is to continue to raise the boys the best way I can - but to know that they will ultimately make their choice. At that time our role is then to support him in that choice...

I am raising my sons the best I can - and they are turning out to be pleasant enough young men, they go to seminary without being forced, they play sports without me telling them to, they sit through church and sing along sometimes, they know how to count their lunch money, catch buses, cook noodles, eat dinner at the table most nights, and do their homework - so that makes them near perfect, right? ;-)

So what do I want from the woman who will eventually capture my son's heart:

1) Good family
My daughter-in-law needs to come from a good family. I know some people who would prefer if the mother of their grandchildren doesn't come from a broken home - but for me it doesn't matter. I come from a broken home and been married for 20 years, others have come from long time married parents and divorced after five years. A good family is led by parents with principles, that want the best for their daughters and live a life that complements this.

2) Strong values
Our daughter-in-laws need to have strong values and definitely be of our faith. I didn't spend a life time raising two strong boys in a faith that we believe in for it to be undermined by another...Strong values include work ethics, loving others, maintaing a strong family connection, and the importance of the role of a mother.

3) Educated
An educated young woman will be such an asset to my son and their potential family. She will be able to educate their children and provide a firm foundation for their children that is priceless. She doesn't necessarily need a degree - but whatever she can get before being married will be a bonus as she will be able to support the family when needed.

4) Sense of Humour
I'm praying that my sons choose someone who has a sense of humour and doesn't take herself too serious. We are a family that laughs together and usually at some odd times - but that's what keeps us grounded. If she can laugh at my jokes - then she's a winner!

5) Shares
When I was young I remember a saying "a daughter is a a daughter for all of her life, a son is a son until he gets him a wife" and it terrifies me that I will lose my sons to someone else...... so my ultimate request is that my future daughter-in-law knows how to share :-)

I figure I have another ten years to go before the dreaded sentence - "Mum I would like you to meet [the most perfect woman in the world]" which will give me enough time to practice smiling and then saying "Welcome to our family"... I don't know if I can do it! I already dislike my daughter-in-laws immensely for taking away my boys - but hopefully by then I'll change ;-)

Yours in friendship,

Mxox