The perfect wife

If you aren’t from New Zealand – you may have to find an equivalent sport to relate to this – but for me and my household the predominant sport is Rugby… and that is followed closely (as in millimetres) by any other sport that has a ball – whether it be green (tennis), red (cricket), white (golf) or oval (football, league, etc). I think you get the picture. In fact, I had an Uncle that used to watch as much if not more sport than my husband and I remember being amazed that he would even watch golf of all things….. only to find that twenty years later my companion that I am meant to live this life and the next with, has become that man!!

But I digress. Let me share with you what can make a normal wife - into the perfect wife of a sports crazy man.

Last night, after dinner, Mr and Mrs were sitting in the lounge and Mr was channel flicking (a talent that he is developing although if there was an Olympic sport – he would win gold already) between rugby, rugby league, this country, that country, that code, this code etc…. and I looked at him and I asked “am I the perfect wife – if I just sit here and let you continue flicking through the channels?” Mr replied, “Yes.”

Mrs asked – “as the perfect wife, would you like me to continue sitting here quietly without any interruption?” Mr replies, “you can make some comments here and there.” Mrs had to get some clarification – and it was brought to her attention that general comments like “the boys are fighting, or the toilet is blocked” were not included.. The words that could be used had to be about the ‘play’, the ‘moves’, the ‘ball’, and include words like, ‘tackle’, ‘wide!!!’ and passit!!. On this note, I actually think my friend Mandy would make a perfect wife.

Mrs asked a question she already knew the answer to, but on a roll and couldn’t stop now… “Would the perfect wife talk to you through the rugby?”. Mr answered – “no she wouldn’t”. By now we had almost had a whole conversation….

Judging the situation Mrs started rounding up this one sided conversation and asked “would I be the perfect wife if I got up and made a smoothie for our pudding (after cooking a beautiful meal)”. Mr smiled and looked me directly (remember this is during a game so any seconds away from the action is measured in momentous ;-)) and said “yes”.

Then Mrs asks her final question “is there anything else that a perfect wife could do for you…..?”, and Mr said the words that would seal his fate - “if you could just clean the house, that would be perfect”....

To that Mrs looks around the lounge, tiring herself out in doing so, sighs, and then replies…“well, when you become the perfect husband we will talk, and as for tonight – you can sleep in the perfect spare room ;-)”

Mxox