"I do" - forever ;-)

Recently, I have just celebrated 20 years of marriage and looking for something quirky or different to blog about or say about marriage. I thought maybe some advice - but what do I know, my in-laws have been married over 50 years, or perhaps say something romantic - and then remembered the words of the poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning to her husband (her "How do I love thee" poem is one of my all times favourite) wife and then today came along....

I had the privilege of hearing a lesson from my 80+ year old friend on marriage which is based on a talk given by Richard G.Scott called 'The Eternal Blessings of Marriage'. It was beautiful and I learnt heaps from it.

I got the distinct impression today that I should not only be celebrating our 20th milestone but I need to continue learning and trying - aiming for another twenty and better still - an eternity.

I dedicate this blog to by better half.

1) Be the one you want

To prospective husbands Richard G Scott says "if you want to have a wonderful wife, you need to have her see you as a wonderful man and prospective husband." This applies to us all. To get the best, we need to be the best.... I am blessed that I met a man who is makes me better. In my card to my husband I wrote "the way you made me feel, like the most important, cherished person on the planet - make that princess & the universe is the same way I feel when I am with you twenty three years later. You are the perfrect man for me. You have allowed me to become the person I was meant to be and I thank you for that...." For me, I got a bunch of 20 white roses - one for every year ;-)

2) Loyalty

Are you loyal to your marriage covenants by never engaging in conversation with another person that you wouldn’t want your spouse to overhear? Wow! I need to really think about this one and make some major improvements... I talk to my friends about my husband in FRONT of him, but is this being loyal....??

3) Love

Scott shares "I learned from my wife the importance of expressions of love. Early in our marriage, often I would open my scriptures to give a message in a meeting, and I would find an affectionate, supportive note Jeanene had slipped into the pages. Sometimes they were so tender that I could hardly talk. Those precious notes from a loving wife were and continue to be a priceless treasure of comfort and inspiration". Maurice & I used to do this when either one of us was travelling away. The note would be tucked in a place that would slip out during unpacking, or searching in a bag or a pocket and always unexpected and always appreciated... I also used to put notes in my children's lunches - & their reactions are priceless ;-)...

4) Gratitude

Scott asks a simple question that can be applied to us all: do [we] tell our [spouses] often how very much [we] love [them]?  He counsels that "it will bring great happiness. I’ve heard men tell me when I say that, “Oh, she knows.You need to tell [him]/her."  Express gratitude for what your spouse does for you. Express that love and gratitude often. That will make life far richer and more pleasant and purposeful. Don’t withhold those natural expressions of love. And it works a lot better if you are holding her close while you tell [him]/her."  

My sons surprised me this year for my birthday with a card each. The surprise was not the card - but from the words - one wrote "Thanks for being my biggest fan. Thank for being the coolest mum ever" - this from the son who calls me 'dry' and gets embarrased when I call out his name in a game ;-) and the other wrote "I love you which would be to heaven and back, although you may not hear me say it to you mum, but because thats how I feel inside...."  Knowing you are loved and appreciated comes when you least expect it...

5) Family & Friends

I just wanted to share something with my friends and family who are yet to find 'the one', or found the one who turned out to be wrong - I want to thank you for being a part of my life because you make me a better person when I am with you, and in doing that - a better wife and mother. Never underestimate the influence you have as a single person in the lives of your married friends. Learning comes from everywhere...You are loved and I thank you....

Yours in friendship,
Mxo