The best advice....

Recently I spent an evening with a group of women talking about fathers. One of the topics for our discussion was the best advice from their fathers...

A lot of the fathers that were spoken about had passed away as recent as two years ago to almost three decades ago and yet the memories were vividly recalled. The room was filled with love of the first men in the lives of these women.... and here are my picks of the best pieces of advice that a group of fathers have given to their daughters ...

This is so true - you can do everything possible and yet there is someone who will not be happy with what you have done. I believe this father set up his daughter and his family to do the best that they could do, and to be prepared for detractors along the way. What a wonderful lesson to be learnt here.

This statement was shared by a 70+ year old daughter about her father. What was so touching about this was that her father taught her about being a peacemaker by his actions. She wasn't told to be this, but from watching her father, and learning from his example - he taught her. This reminds me of what Clarence Budington Kelland, a famous American writer once said "He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.".

I loved this advice that was given to a daughter who was quite young when her father passed away. What a priceless legacy he left behind for his daughters. The greatest lesson that a child can learn about love comes from watching how their father and mother treat each other.... something I need to work on ;-)


Another lesson learnt from the example of a father was about putting 100% of effort into everything that was done. This was learnt and put into practice for a daughter who still does this, even many decades later. The second part was indicative of a father taking time to watch football (soccer) and cricket - because if there is one thing that is most remembered about our parents, it is 'time', and how that is shared. The memories created between this father and his daughters have trancended generations.

On the wall I had put some quotes about fathers that I hoped would remind us, this Father's Day the worth of these men in our lives... One of these was a poem by Diane Loomans

If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again
If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd do less correcting, and more connecting,
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I'd run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging, and less tugging.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd teach less about the love of power and more about the power of love.

Thanks to the group of ladies I had the privilege of sharing with and listening to, I have things that I can do to be a better mother, so when my sons are asked in 30 years what the best advice they were given, will not have me rolling around in my grave ;-)

Happy Father's Day.

Yours in Friendship,

Mxo