A Bishop's Wife

Last week my husband was made a Bishop (Pastor) of our ward (Parish). This is great for him and he will do his very best and I know that he will fulfill his calling honourably. The reaction of people we know has been supportive and he has been a recipient of ALL the kind things that people say (many of whom genuinely feel it). The children and I are aware of our role as the support crew and are happy to do this for him and look forward to sharing this journey with one of the quite possibly humblest men on the planet....

As a result of this change in our whanau - many of MY/OUR friends have been jokingly/not jokingly approached me and shared their thoughts about what I need to do now as the wife of a Bishop which include behaving myself etc. Some of these people have known me for many many years, so they know what they are talking about ;-) This has got me thinking, "What am I going to do?". I started with the things that I need to change and that list was too long - so I thought about things that I can do better and that list was even longer - so eventually I gave myself a break and agreed there are some things that I do okay - that I could enhance, and this list was just right ;-)

1) PATIENCE

Many people have told me that I am patient person - granted they were not my husband or children - but I think this is something that I do exercise freely. I am going to need this more than ever as a wife of a very busy man and will learn not to expect him home for dinner that has been prepared for him - and actually get used to eating without him - and be patient because if there is one thing I know for sure - he will be home ;-) I am going to need to be patient and wait for my time with him.

2) HUMILITY

I can do humble. I have no options really given my choice of eternal companion - but I can do humility :-) For me, I have no feelings of jealously of my husband having all the accolades (for a lack of a better word) and of being the leader. I think once upon a time, I may have wanted or aspired to be a leader myself, but one thing time does - and that is teach you - and as a result any aspiration for positions of power have now been tempered with acceptance and understanding. My goal is to match the humility of my husband.

3) SELF-CONFIDENCE

Like a lot of women - low self esteem/confidence is something we share. For me, I my self confidence is usually okay thanks to years of developing a very good system of self-talking (especially after my number one fan/critical friend - my Mummy - passed away) that buoys my up and gets me going again... I am certainly going to need this system more than ever now...... An example - yesterday it took me longer than normal to choose what I was going to wear to church. There is no manual on what a wife of a Bishop has to wear - but I suspect she is not to look drabby, or like a drowned cat or the walking dead - you get my drift.... So as the wardrobe was being emptied on to the bed as I look for something that first of all I could fit, then look half decent in - my self talk kicked in and told me off. This is what it said " You are a daughter of God, an alright mother and I guess a lovely wife :-). You are basically a good person and try to be better so who cares what you wear M - just get dressed, don't be late, keep it together and be confident that you are going to be alright". And I was.....

4) RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships are among my most precious possessions. I value them and work on maintaining them carefully, thoughtfully and in love. Luckily for me that I already do this because I am going to need to practise it diligently as we go along this journey. The relationships that I need to focus on now more than ever are with my Heavenly Father, His son Jesus Christ, my husband and my sons. These are key to a happy life.

5) HUMOUR

I have this one down pat - and it is something that I have spent years refining ;-) I am going to need this more than ever to help us all enjoy this journey. I'm looking forward to it.

Well, that was my list. In the end I had to really had to scratch my head to come up with a couple - but they all seem about right....... I'll let you know how I go this time next year - who knows this list may change, or even get bigger ;-) Whatever happens - to our friends who read this and know us - your love and support means a lot and is most appreciated.

Yours in friendship,

Mxo