The View

The other day I was driving my son to his touch rugby practice and as I was driving along the familiar roads, I said to him - "Son, I have lived here practically all of my life", to which he replied "So have I" ;-) I smiled and had a bit of a chuckle and thought - you are right son! You see my son is the 4th generation child of my family to live here in what people call - The View or more recently - The Village.

Besides a short stint of living in another area of town, I have been here since I was a child. Until recently, I was kind of embarrased to live at the same address as I have done most of my life because I had never left. I have friends that I have grown up who live in the United States, Australia and even Hong Kong - yet here I am - still in the View.

Now, I have realised - that I can't imagine it any other way. My sons haven't been disadvantaged in any way. We live in a relatively crime free area and have never been subjected to gangs, drugs, alcohol, or any other substance abuse, tagging, robberies, fights and so on. Don't get me wrong - we aren't living in heaven - we still have late nighters, the random druggy and gangsta, and our share of domestics and so on - but my sons have never been exposed as much because of where we live. In fact, my children, I am 100% certain, would be welcome in the homes to my left and right - maybe not across the road (because of their scary dogs and acquaintances) - but everywhere else. Surely - that is not a disadvantage...

So it got me thinking - for a small place like this - what are the lessons that I have learnt from the View?

LESSON ONE - It takes a village to raise a family
I remember this African saying being turned into a book written by Hillary Clinton and discussed on Oprah some years ago. It always stuck with me because that's what I feel about the 'village' that I live in. I think about all the of the people that I grew up with and around - many of whom have now passed on, and some who are still here, and I remember the lessons they taught. As a solo parent, my mother needed support and many of the people who live in this community were there for her. They supported her to raise her family and I am grateful for that.

LESSON TWO - Chinese Whispers
One of the challenges in a small community is something like the game of chinese whispers. I guess people would call it gossip and being busy bodies - which is people thinking they know other people's business, but like the game of chinese whispers - often end up being totatlly wrong. So I've learnt from this and have tried very hard to know no one else's business but my own and it has kept me free from rumour, gossip and innuendo - actually I don't know if it has, but because I don't talk to other people about other people - I am happily oblivious. I have achieved this in some way by having my children educated outside of the View so they have friends both close and afar, and by seeking employment outside of where I live. This has helped to not only broaden my view but also to keep busy enough not to have enough time to be a busy body  ;-)

LESSON THREE - Whanau
I have learnt that whanau (family) is actually not only blood relatives. I grew up calling people that have no bloodlines to me - Aunty and Uncle. I still do it today and it feels normal. My neighbours have two little children and do you know what they call me and Maurice? They call us Aunty and Uncle. This makes me smile because we are not related at all and yet before their father (little Raha) was born - I was and still call his  grandmother - Aunty Emma. I love my View whanau (many of whom are my dearest friends, younger and older - it doesn't matter). In fact I know almost all of the people in the View by name (and if not by name by parent or grandparent ;-)) and like my sister says - she would have no problem asking anyone of them if she could use their toilet ;-) Not very scientific but I think you get the gist - we are whanau after all....

LESSON FOUR - History
My grandparents left their home in the Winterless north to come to the View - which at the time was peat and swamp land. Alongside many others, they raised their families as labour missionaries, while building from scratch the wonderful landmark buildings, and a community that exists even 53 years later. My Nanna and Grandad owned one of the first houses here and raised my Aunty and Uncles here in the View. Even though we are only talking about a relatively short span of time (53 years) in the bigger sense of things - it is 53 years of my history - which makes the View part of me, and I love it.

LESSON FIVE - Change
I was discussing some changes that are coming up with my sons and they couldn't understand why. I thought that was interesting because I know what they mean. They have been used to being with the same people all their lives and now there are about to be some shifts. I explained to them that the only thing constant everywhere is change and the View is no different. All we can do, and is something I have learnt from living in the same place for the best part of the last 35 years - is to accept the change, work with it, let it settle and move on because if there is one thing for certain - it is change.....

I thank the people from the View, past and present, that have had a profound influence on my life, and who  I have loved and they me. The lessons that I have learnt have made me the person that I am today - and in some ways - probably in many ways - are having that same, although Maraeaized, influence on my children - even, four generations later ;-)

Yours in friendship,

Mxo