We have just celebrated my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary...... now just take a moment and think on that - 50 years - five-zero, five decades, that's half a century of marriage! What an amazing milestone! Not only that - but my mother-in-law also turned 70 years old ;-) Those numbers are amazing to me - for the most part - because none of my mother's siblings have made it to 60 yet - although there is a good chance the last two will ;-) and also - I don't have anyone in my family that has been married for 50 years and more! So it is an amazing and wonderful time for our whole family.... Here are five lessons I have learnt from my beautiful in-laws:
1) A legacy
Having two parents together has been foreign to me, let alone parents who celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary.... and the cool thing is that it isn't going to be foreign to my sons... What a wonderful legacy my in-laws are giving my boys, their grandchildren - to know through their wonderful example that marriage can be forever...
2) It won't be easy but it will be worth it
I have heard a quote about life not being easy, but looking back we will be able to say it has been worth it and this applies here as well. My in-laws have not had an easy life. They will not be known for their riches, awards, honours, and status symbols. What they will be known for is being hard working parents of six children who and are all normal, well adjusted citizens making contributions of consequence in their own families and communities. And now, as they sit back now and watch their grandchildren go through life, they can see that their hard work has been worth it... I look forward to this day....
3) The tough get going!
Billie Ocean sang a song in the 80's which says "when the going gets tough - the tough get going" and this has been so true of my in-laws. What I love about this is that my husband has been raised by parents who married 50 years ago and through thick and thin - have stayed together. What this means in my life is that when things go 'south' as they often do in a relationship - my Mr M is unmovable. The first thing to go - is not his marriage.... Too many times, wedding vows become a by-product so easily discarded as soon as challenges arise....
4) Love is not what I thought it would be
Before I was married - I thought that love was going to be all that I needed.... turned out it actually took a lot more than that - like a job, money, a house, children, education and all that jazz. It finally dawned on me that love is still the glue - but it certainly isn't the love I started off with in the beginning. Instead after years of marriage - love is not what I thought it would be - it has turned out to be everything!
Mr M is an awesome husband - even when he is pushed to his limits, he will still be remembered as a wonderful man. His outlook on life, especially in his relationship with his wife and his sons is tender yet strong and powerful. He loves hard and deeply yet is not loud and overly affectionate. He is just right and sometimes can almost be perfect ;-) And do you know where he learnt that from?? His father.... and his relationship with his mother.... so you see, what we do as parents, whether we are married or not - is critical - because our children are always watching and learning from us....
I want to thank my in-laws for being wonderful examples of resilience, commitment and demonstrating what the true meaning of marriage vows are.... I want to thank them for all of the lessons that their love for each other teaches me every day.... Here's to many more!! ;-) xx
Yours in friendship
Mxo
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