"I am not addicted!"

According to my son, my husband and I are the only parents on the planet that restrict our children's playing time on their PS3/Xbox games. When we got the boys their first PS2 we set aside one hour a week for them to play which was on a Saturday. As they have grown older - and the PS3 came along, this hour is still in place with a bit of leeway to accomodate for rewards (one son will take more time on his game than money) and holidays etc. These rules have somehow catapulted Maurice and I to the envious place as the worst (strictest) parents out there!! But, I don't care really because if it were not for those rules, I know that I would NEVER see one of my sons again as he would never come out of his room EVER!

Is he addicted? I tell him he is but as all addicted souls believe - his emphatic cry quickly comes back to me "I am not addicted!" Actually, I believe he isn't because he functions as a citizen in the world, attends school and church and actually can make words into sentences - so he's fine....its just that gaming sure is something he loves to to.


Logo for Hey U Guys Gaming
 (http://www.heyuguys.co.uk/)



So you can imagine the amusement we both shared (from different sides of the story) when in our local paper there was an article on page three entitled Online `snack' gaming now seen as mainstream fun or time filler. He was attracted to it because it had the word gaming ;-) and I wanted to see what the findings were saying about something we are both passionate about - albeit different ends of the spectrum.

The article is based on a study done in July 2011 by a university of 2428 people across 846 New Zealand homes, and here are my top five facts of interest:

ONE - Not just pimply geeky boys

My sons aren't either pimply or geeks ;-) so I already knew this. However, the study showed that 90% of New Zealand homes have some form of gaming device in the home. Nintey percent!

TWO - The average age of a gamer

"Research shows video games are no longer the domain of teenage boys, with the average Kiwi gamer 33 years old." and a key finding of this research was that 47% of gamers are girls. I wasn't suprised to see the first statistic because I know grown up men who play PS3 games, some of which don't have jobs, or are at school or on shift work. Of note here is that this survey actually included games on mobile phones, ipads, notebooks, computers and my personal favourite - social networds. I would suggest that this type of gaming is responsible for the spike in this statistic as adults can afford the higher end of technology and we play in our breaks, on the way to work and even for exercising (Wii) etc. What it shows is that that it is no longer a teenager 'thing'. as for the stats for girls - it is not suprising as the likelihood that girls will have mobiles and a heavy investment in social networking and other things that technology can provide to keep them connected to each other. Incidentally, this is my theory for why Scotty won American idol 2010 ;-)

THREE - Daily usage

My son had great delight in pointing out that 58% of people play either daily or every other day. I know when he comes back from school we will be talking about how his one hour a week can still be maintained ;-) That's a lot of time playing games people!

FOUR - Money, money, money

While I struggle to keep law and order in my house - the gaming industry bombards our children, and through other means entices grown ups to engage in some kind of gaming. Our phones now have access to a myriad of game options which can include battling others in games through our 'gadgets'. It is not going to stop or slow down. In in fact, the New Zealand gaming industry is going to be worth $192 million by 2015. That is a serious amount of money.

FIVE - Education

92% of parents who play computer games, use them to educate their children. I can understand that maths games and spelling games would be great tools - but I fail to see what my love for bejewelled blitz on facebook is going to teach my children :-) I would probably want to see this stat teased out a bit and explained more because as it is - it is most concerning to see that our children are being taught by a machine in the home and not by real people.....

So, where do you fit in terms of these findings? I know I'm going to be having a face-to-face verbal conversation (with no sign of any form of electronics in sight) with my son very soon to find out ;-).

Yours in friendship,


Mxo

Teaching an old dog new tricks....

Now I have an old dog. I've talked about her before and could easily fill a book about her.....

I got Simba (a Bichon Friese cross) when she was a little puppy the year my sons were born. Originally intended for my mother - she quickly attached herself to me like a paua ;-) I have heaps of memories of her but my fondest are when she was a puppy and she would be all curled up under my neck while I had a son on each arm propped up by pillows and off we would head into our little afternoon nap....   or when the boys would be in their cot and start crying which would set off this little dog who would run up and down the hallway to try and get my attention, so I would know that they needed me - as if the crying of twin babies wasn't enough to wake the neighbourhood ;-) I love my dog.

She has seriously grown old. Cataracts in both eyes which give her that classic glassy look that our old folks get, absolutely deaf, fused bones in her back, arthritis, a pair of struggling kidneys and now a weeping benign tumour on her back that is refusing treatment - but she will still get up when she knows I am home - something that used to take her seconds now takes a good several minutes.... but she comes and I love her.

I can't teach her anything new... unless it is around the location of her food and water ;-) She can still, at respectable 16 years is old remember the old ones - she can fetch tennis balls, and catch a tennis ball in her mouth, but forgotten a really important one like scratching the door if she needs to go out, or bark for one of us to open the door....

Here are some things I am doing to teach myself new tricks

Just do it!!
I have an appreciation of what it must be like for Simba in terms of getting old - but I am tryying to break the cycle as someone who is slowing becoming more forgetful with age - and learn a new trick. I am learning a whole second language ;) Recently I have enrolled in a Te Reo Maori course called Te Putaketanga o Te Reo through Te Wananga o Aotearoa 

It may take longer - but it is worth it.
One of the first things we were asked to do was to find and write our pepeha (our connections) and recite it in front of our class first and then later in the evening in front of other classes....Now I guess this would have been an easy task for most of the class as they knew theirs - or are still connected to their Marae and their whanau. It appeared easy for the young ones because they pick things up soooooooo quickly. But for a number of us, age and upbringing was against us, in terms of having little to no exposure to the language or the culture... and off we went. The learning took most of the day - but I said it aloud to my class mates then I did it off by heart in front of a crowd of about sixty people - and almost died!! - but I did it and it was awesome. The recitation wasn't awesome - in fact it will go down as one of the worst speeches I have ever made, EVER - but the accomplishment was choice and the learning - beautiful.

Make it relevant
My Kaiako (tutor) talked us through the many parts of a pepeha and the significance of what we were saying and I felt myself learning.. which helps when learning something new. New things have to mean something when you get older. For my brain to learn it, it needs to put it into a context and prioritise it with everything else that is going on. When once, it would have been learnt and stored in minutes or seconds - now it has to be given a place in my fading memory and the explanations made it read and worthy of a spot up there in my brain ;-)

Be ready - and don't waste any more time.
It took longer than it probably would have when I was younger - but I wasn't ready for this journey until now. In fact, its twenty two years since I first took a Te Reo Maori class at University and I am finally ready for this. I am a second chance learner, I am older and I am learning a new trick.....

Don't be afraid to take on new things. It's not going to be easy peasy like it was back in the day but like the Hair Dye advertisement - you are worth it. If the truth be known - research shows that the best way to keep your brain nice and fresh (although getting older) is to learn something different all the time ;-)

Have a great week whanau

Yours in friendship

Mxox

Transformation through education

I spent most of Saturday morning in tears.... I know, I have started my blog with this teary event often but I tell no lies - I had tears in my eyes for most of Saturday morning.

This is the line of work I am in - I truly believe that I am part of a revolution of claiming education for Maori,  Pasifica and the disconnected - and the rush of transforming lives is addictive, moving and humbling...

Transformation through education
On Saturday I was at a graduation for Maori, Pasifica and two Indians who were graduating from completing a Police preparation course and were now on their way to going to Police College. One of the stories that was shared by a student speaker was about his efforts over ten years of trying to get into the police force, and his failure on course after course until he enrolled on ours and he was finally taught in way that he understood. His life, by his own admission was never going to be the same. He like many other people had been transformed through education.

Transformation through generations
I have just returned from Australia with work. We were part of a contingent that visited our counterparts in Australia who also did work with Indigenous peoples. Sitting as part of a major Australian university is a quiet Koorie education revolution that is making a difference. One of the ways that was used to teach was similar to our noho model (residence) where students travelling for days stayed at campus for a week of intensive study - a few times a year. We were able to spend time in a housing establishment where students came to stay as they went through their studies - and what I liked was that the housing provided spaces for students with families. What was encouraging to hear was that cousins and family relatives also on the courses that were running often came and stayed together. The photos of graduates which lined the walls of these buildings and of the tutorial rooms and administration offices were evidence of this transgenerational and whanau (family) education...  I love it!

Transformation through life
Today I sat on an interview panel for people who had applied to be on one of our degrees. There were two people that I will never forget. One was a middle aged white male the other a young Maori female. Both had had spent time in prison and familiar with addictions and demons of a kind that bound their lives on a pathway to no good. Yet, here they both were, working through their past, recently completed a certificate and firmly rooted on a new pathway that they were hungry to advance. I was blown away with what I saw as transformation through education in reality. I witnessed the end product of people who had physically overcome barriers I would never know and had transformed their lives - it was humbling and I was touched.

Transformation through how we do things
Transformative education " is courses and assessments that enable people to change the way they think and act in society...." and it is a privilege to work in an organisation that does this every day. Seeing people that have had terrible primary and secondary school experiences learning new concepts that change their lives is amazing. Recently, a lecturers recalled an incident where one of his students, after learning about healthy relationships - 'up and left' a violent marriage with her children in tow. She took courage from the things that she learnt and had recognised in her own life the need for change. She re-evaluated her place in the community she existed in and chose a better way....

I believe the work that I am involved with, transformation through education, is like watching in real-time and real-life human metormorphosis and I consider myself privileged to be a witness of the growth in our students. If you ever want to see it in real life - come to a graduation at a campus near you - your life will never be the same!

Yours in friendship,

Mxox

Have an attitude of gratitude

On our family white board, Maurice has written in big writing the words "attitude of gratitude". It is there as a reminder of some counsel that we were given in the weekend to have an attitude of gratitude. I thought it was being proactive of him to put that message up and it showed that he was motivated by those words which was awesome. However, it is slowly becoming annoying when, in the middle of a discussion, and in response to me sharing my opinion- all 100% fault free of it, he quietly points to the board where those words attitude of gratitude silence me immediately.... I think it is going to be a looooooonnnnnnnng week ;-)

What am I grateful for?

1) My children
My sons are 15 years old. One night while we were watching Police Ten Seven - there was a young man who was spotted doing a u-turn up the road from a booze bus. The police quickly chased the young man to see why he had tried to avoid the road block..... Some reasons were given - but it became clear and later confirmed by a breath test that he was three times above the adult limit and had been driving drunk. He was 15 - fifteen and drunk driving. So the first thing I am grateful for is the opportunity I have to be a mother (despite early medical advice that becoming a mother was probably not going to happen), and next - I am grateful that at 12.24am as I am penning this blog that my precious baby boys are asleep in their beds with the biggest issues facing them is their next facebook/internet/bebo/PS3/mobile phone and not driving up and down the streets drunk!

2) My husband
I never had a picture of who I wanted to marry. I hadn't spent a lot of time thinking of the characteristics he might have either. All I knew was what I had been promised was that someone was being prepared  and would be led to me.... A year after that blessing, I met Maurice... he appeared just like that! He was respectful, quiet, loyal, dedicated, friendly and soooooo good looking. He was good to my mother, brother and sister, Nanna (who lived next to us) and at that stage our two little chihuahuas. He was perfection (which changed after we married - but still okay ;-)). He is the love of my life and I never want to live a day without him. I am grateful for my husband.

3) My faith
My faith is what centres me. I don't talk about it or share it as much as I could - but I love it and believe in it and strive to live its teachings. If I could, I would teach the principles of my faith as a full-time job -but until then I am grateful that I have a faith to believe in, and a strong testimony of its teachings, readings, and values.

4) My family
Being in my family tree makes my world colourful and interesting ;-) However it is the role of being the eldest of three children, that I am most grateful. I have always taken my responsibility of looking after my brother and sister or taking care of my mother and now father seriously. I don't see it as a burden or added stress - but see it as part of me. I love my brother and sister and now that they are grown with their own families - this love has only extended onto their children whom I love as my own. I am grateful for being part of a family tree that is colourful and interesting.

5) Friends
What can I say...... I am grateful for my friends - especially the ones that read my blog ;-) For my friends - church friends,childhood friends,highschool buddies and my workmates - I am grateful for you. I haven't always been a good firend - I actually lost some really good ones while at highschool - and for that I carry regret with me, but for the ones that I have managed to keep - I am grateful for you - thank you.

To this list I would add my education - for without it I would not be able to help provide for my babies, my house - that my mother gifted to us to live in, my mother - whom I miss and being told I am turning into more and more every day, books - that provide my imagination with wonderful worlds that I will never inhabit in this life, Hawaii - where I was born and hope to return to, food - of which I eat too much but love and grateful for, and basically my life - I wouldn't have it any other way...

Have a go of counting your many blessings, name them one by one - it will change the way you feel when you have an attitude of gratitude.

Have a great week

Yours in friendship

Mxox